Ah, the beauty of growing up in the South! From mastering the art of spirited banter during backyard football matches to gathering your own fishing bait, a Southern upbringing is a rich tapestry of tradition and charm. If you’ve ever named your pet after a legendary football coach or savored some homemade venison sausage, you likely hail from below the Mason-Dixon line. As a proud Southern parent, you’re committed to instilling these timeless principles in your children—the 10 Commandments of Southern Parenting.
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Thou Shalt Monogram
When it comes to naming your little one, consider how those initials will look stitched onto a diaper bag. As a Southern parent, monogramming is a way of life, so don’t forget: the last name goes in the middle! Nobody wants to see a crimson and white bag emblazoned with “DOG.” -
Thou Shalt Pick Thy Own Switch
Nothing instills discipline quite like letting your child choose their own wooden spoon or select a privilege to lose. This tradition is quintessentially Southern and teaches kids the weight of their actions. -
Thou Shalt Make Casseroles for Every Occasion
If you’re lacking a signature poppy seed chicken casserole or a beloved Jell-O mold, it’s high time you called your mama. Bringing store-bought lasagna to a neighbor’s housewarming? That’s practically an affront to Southern hospitality! -
Thou Shalt Not Waste (Waste Not, Want Not)
Don’t even think about tossing that bacon grease! There’s always a way to repurpose what you have, even if it means wearing your cousin’s hand-me-downs. And yes, carrying leftovers in a Cool Whip container is a badge of honor. -
Thou Shalt Dress Your Child in Shiny Shoes
Patented leather shoes for Sunday school and classic navy sandals for the little ones are non-negotiable. Don’t forget the jumpers, johnnies, and bubble dresses. If your kid isn’t wearing seersucker with a bowtie for Easter, you might as well be marching into battle without armor. -
Thou Shalt Use ‘Ma’am’ and ‘Sir’
When I was young, a friend’s mom asked me to drop the “Miss” before her name, and it felt like a foreign language! In the South, respect is paramount, and our children will learn to address adults with the proper titles, no exceptions. -
Thou Shalt Bless Everything
It’s crucial for Southern children to hear gratitude expressed daily. Bless the food, bless their hearts, and bless every little thing. After all, if you’re from the South, you know you’re blessed. -
Thou Shalt Teach Loyalty to Your Team
By the age of two, your child should know the fight song, the mascot, and maybe even a little trash talk about rival teams. It’s your duty to ensure they believe your rival’s cheer is all “bad words.” War Eagle! -
Thou Shalt Honor Thy Parents and Others
A well-behaved Southern child respects not just their parents but also other adults. If someone tells them to stop running up the slide, you can bet they’ll listen—or else they’ll face the dreaded consequences. -
Thou Shalt Become Your Mother
If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I brought you into this world…” or “You better stop that crying before…” then congrats! You’re well on your way. If you’ve ever scraped leftovers into a container because “there are starving kids in Africa,” you’re officially a Southern parent.
Even if the thought of emulating your mother is daunting, remember this: she raised you with love and wisdom, often while channeling her inner Dolly Parton.
For more insights on raising children or even home insemination, check out our other blog posts, such as those at intracervicalinsemination.com and learn more about the process at Make a Mom. For those navigating pregnancy, Women’s Health offers excellent resources.
Summary:
Southern parenting is steeped in tradition, from the importance of monogramming to teaching respect and loyalty. By following these ten commandments, you can ensure your children carry on the legacy of Southern charm and values.