I thought I had it all figured out with my easy-going infants—until they reached around 18 months. That’s when they began to assert their independence, often craving things that were quite different from what I desired. Wouldn’t it be nice if toddlers considered our needs occasionally and showed a bit of cooperation? I think so! Here are 17 things toddlers never utter (but we wish they would).
- “Sure, I can sleep in! I was quite the night owl last night with that epic bedtime meltdown. An extra hour of sleep sounds great for both of us!”
- “Look at me! I’ve put on my shoes and am patiently waiting by the door. I won’t be running away laughing hysterically while we’re already behind schedule.”
- “Any shirt works for me! The Elmo one is in the wash? That striped gift from Grandma is charming, and I’ll wear it proudly. No grimaces in our family photos!”
- “I appreciate flexibility! Slice that sandwich however you like; I’m not picky.”
- “I’ll patiently wait my turn for that shovel and take it gently from my new friend. I promise I won’t whack him with a sand pail!”
- “Mom, I know you’ve had a tough day. Whatever you cook will be delicious! Pasta every night can get a bit dull, though.”
- “I’d absolutely love a bath! And getting out? Yes, please! I’ll even dry off without fussing or demand that you find my favorite Elmo diaper.”
- “Public discussions about my private parts? Not really necessary. Let’s keep that between us.”
- “Transitions are my favorite! Leaving the playground? I feel so alive!”
- “I thrive on challenges, like waiting my turn without being a little menace.”
- “Hair washing? Bring it on! I can tilt my head back and close my eyes like a pro. Water in my ears feels like a soothing massage!”
- “Please, trim my nails! I don’t enjoy having long, dirty nails that look like I belong to a secret society.”
- “I’m starting to enjoy grooming. Go ahead, cut my hair! The barber shop is a blast, and the sound of clippers is music to my ears.”
- “Your friend’s child? He’s a joy to play with! We’ll take cute pictures together, and I won’t scratch his eyes out, ruining your friendship.”
- “Sitting in a high chair at a restaurant? Yes, please! I can’t wait for the food to arrive. I will not create chaos while you anxiously wait for your meal.”
- “I love cars! I know you want to get home quickly, but I won’t nap for just four minutes and then be a grumpy mess afterward.”
- “There’s something sticky on my hands, maybe avocado. But you enjoy your meal; I’ll just ignore it.”
Maybe they aren’t saying these things now, but surely they will outgrow this challenging phase soon, right? And then they’ll be asking, “Mom, how can I help?”
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Summary:
Toddlers often have their own ideas, which can be quite different from what parents wish. This humorous list captures 17 things toddlers never say but we hope they would, highlighting their independence and the challenges of parenting.