When I was around 33 weeks pregnant, I experienced a scare with premature labor. Thankfully, everything turned out fine, but my doctor informed me that if my baby boy decided to arrive early again, as long as it was after 35 weeks, I could proceed with delivery since he was healthy and well-sized. My OB also advised me to keep an open mind about labor, considering his large head and my smaller pelvis. A C-section might be necessary.
Wait, what? I had been preparing for a vaginal delivery for the past eight months and even had my birth plan in place. The thought of needing a C-section hadn’t crossed my mind.
To calm my nerves, I reached out to my friend Olivia, who had two large babies via C-section. She reassured me that the procedure was “super fast” and that her husband was right there with her throughout. She described how the drape went up, and she felt no pain—just pressure—before holding her baby about 20 minutes later. Honestly, that didn’t sound too bad. I mean, yes, it involves surgery, but you get your baby faster than it takes for a pizza to arrive!
Then Olivia turned serious. “I hope you don’t have to go through that,” she said, looking a bit forlorn. When I asked why, she shared that she felt like she missed out on the experience of giving birth, as if she hadn’t truly done the work.
I reminded her that she had two wonderful, healthy children (now in fourth and sixth grade), and that was what truly mattered. However, she still felt like she hadn’t really given birth because she hadn’t pushed them out herself.
I had no idea C-section guilt existed until I started researching online. I stumbled upon numerous forums where people criticized C-sections, labeling them as the “easy way out.” Some individuals, for personal or religious reasons, even believe that a C-section isn’t a real birth. It was disheartening to see how many people, like Olivia, felt guilty for not having a vaginal delivery.
Well, after enduring 36 hours of labor (12 hours of premature labor and then 24 hours of the real deal), I can honestly say I hold no guilt about my C-section. After hours of pushing, I was informed that my baby’s heart rate was dropping with each push. I could either continue pushing, risking an emergency surgery, or opt for a C-section right then and there.
Hearing that my baby was in distress made all thoughts of a “normal” delivery vanish. My priority shifted to getting him out safely, no matter how it happened.
Being strapped to the operating table felt surreal, and as I felt the tugging and pulling inside me, I knew that I didn’t feel guilty about the C-section. When the doctor mentioned the complications she faced while navigating through my abdominal muscles, I still didn’t feel guilt.
Then came the moment of suction, and finally, I heard my son’s cry. As he was cleaned and measured from a distance, I cried tears of joy, unable to wipe them away since my arms were still restrained. My husband held him close, allowing me to greet him cheek to cheek.
Suddenly, the drape was lowered, and I was transferred back to a bed. A nurse informed me I could finally hold my baby, and just like that, we were wheeled back to our room.
Processing the whirlwind of events—the long labor, the C-section decision made in moments, and finally holding my baby—took time. Nothing about it was easy or painless, but my son was here, safe and sound, and that was all that mattered. I have absolutely no guilt about it.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination options, you can check out this resource. And if you’re considering artificial insemination, Make A Mom is a great authority on the topic. For more comprehensive information on pregnancy, Cleveland Clinic offers excellent resources.
Summary:
In this piece, Mia shares her experience of facing a C-section after a long labor, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing the health of her child over the method of delivery. Despite societal pressures and the stigma surrounding C-sections, she finds peace in her journey to motherhood, concluding that the safety and well-being of her baby is what truly matters.