Next week, I’m heading out on a getaway with my closest friend. Here’s my little secret: I won’t be missing my child one bit.
For four glorious days and nights, we’ll enjoy our own beds, take long, steamy showers, and sip coffee while it’s still hot enough to warm your soul. We’ll engage in hours of adult conversation, punctuated only by peaceful silences and leisurely bike rides or strolls through nature. I can go to bed whenever I choose and wake up with the sun – somewhere between the crack of dawn and whenever I feel like it. I’ll even indulge in that second glass of wine, knowing that the only person I need to look after in the middle of the night is myself.
Sure, I’ll feel a twinge of longing for my toddler, especially around bedtime when I think of how he’s cuddly and sleepy, wanting to nestle in my arms as we share our sweet bedtime rituals of laughter and songs. But honestly, that’s about it.
From the moment I found out I was expecting, I was eager to share the joys and burdens of parenthood with someone else. I didn’t want to shoulder all the responsibility alone; I craved a partner in this journey (and my husband, Mike, is an amazing co-parent – truly the Alton Brown of dads).
The early days with my son were intense. After a stroke at birth, he spent his first week in the NICU. I pumped milk every three hours and kept vigil by his side for 20 hours a day as he fought to survive. When we finally brought him home after six long days, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. But less than two days later, I found myself yearning for a little space. So, I pumped again, placed him for a nap, and stepped out for three precious hours, only returning because my breasts felt ready to explode.
Fast forward seven months, and we were navigating food allergies. I felt trapped at home, counting down the minutes until my husband returned or bedtime arrived, just to escape for a couple of hours.
Now, even though my child is thriving and life has calmed down considerably, I still crave breaks. I need space to think, to breathe, and to not be tied to anyone or anything for a while. These moments are rare, but they’re essential for my well-being.
I often hear from other moms who struggle with the idea of leaving their kids, and I can’t relate. For me, motherhood cannot be all-consuming – it’s overwhelming. And you know what? I need more. I need people around me, but not too many, as crowds can be draining. I require time alone to recharge and be the engaged mother my son, Leo, deserves. He’s like Venus in my universe, but he can’t be my Sun. Honestly, stepping away from him is how I reconnect with my desire to be present. Some might call it selfish or even say it makes me a “bad mom,” but for me, it’s about staying sane.
So, I’ll relish the hot coffee, the peaceful walks, and the freedom that comes with kid-free moments. When I return home, I can fully embrace my role as a grounded and engaged mother, ready to give my little Leo all the love and attention he needs.
For more insights on home insemination, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy. You can learn more about self-insemination and find the right home insemination kit that works for you at this link.
In summary, taking time for yourself as a mother is not only okay – it’s necessary. By prioritizing your own well-being, you can return to your child refreshed and ready to be the loving parent they need.