When I first came across the term “threenager,” I found it amusing. It suggests that toddlers at three years old share a certain resemblance to teenagers. While there might be some truth to it, having a teenager gives me a whole new perspective. In my opinion, teenagers are far more intimidating than their younger counterparts. Here’s why:
- Size Matters: Teenagers are significantly larger. They can easily overpower you if they choose, while a three-year-old can only reach your knees. It’s a different experience when a towering figure looms over you, eyes filled with frustration—especially when combined with those teenage acne outbreaks.
- Voice of Authority: When upset, teenagers no longer express their displeasure in cute, high-pitched tones. I used to chuckle when my three-year-old would exclaim, “I don’t YIKE this!” But when my teenager thunders, “Nothing is going right today!” it’s less humorous and more like an earthquake shaking the house.
- Public Perception: If a teenager throws a tantrum in public, the judgment is swift. People expect them to handle their emotions better. However, when a little one has a meltdown, onlookers offer sympathetic smiles to the parent. With a teen, the whispers are about juvenile detention—talk about pressure!
- Expensive Desires: Three-year-olds might beg for a simple toy like a PAW Patrol set. In contrast, teenagers demand the latest iPhone. You’d think expenses would decrease as they grow older, but nope—those teenage wants can hit the wallet hard.
- Insatiable Appetites: Teenagers seem to have bottomless pits for stomachs. You can watch them devour an entire pizza in one sitting, while a three-year-old is satisfied with just a few bites of snacks. You may find yourself perplexed when they claim, “There’s nothing to eat!” after just going grocery shopping two days ago.
- Whimsical Moods: The emotional swings of a teenager can flip in an instant. One moment they’re giggling, and the next they’re sulking with a dramatic declaration that “their life is over.” Sure, three-year-olds can be moody too, but it’s not quite as alarming when a tiny voice cries out about the tragedies of life.
- Vocab Power: Teenagers have a wide vocabulary that they can wield like a weapon. While a three-year-old might call you a “poopy-head!” and make you chuckle, a teen can craft a heartfelt letter detailing how you’re destroying their existence. And while a toddler may tire themselves out after a short rant, a teenager could keep going for hours.
- The Silent Treatment: A three-year-old is rarely quiet, always sharing their latest adventures. But when a teenager becomes silent, it’s a different story. You may worry about their well-being—Are they struggling with peer pressure? Are they hiding something? All you get in response is a curt, “I’m fine.” It’s enough to make any parent anxious.
In conclusion, teenagers can be quite daunting. Sometimes I long for the simplicity of dealing with a three-year-old again. But then I remember the challenges of a toddler who can’t be left alone. So, I think I’ll stick with my teenager, even if they give me a few gray hairs along the way. For more parenting insights and tips, check out our other blog posts, like this one on home insemination.
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Summary: Teenagers can be more intimidating than threenagers due to their size, deeper voices, public expectations, expensive desires, insatiable appetites, unpredictable moods, advanced vocabulary, and tendency for silence. Parenting a teenager comes with its own set of challenges that can make you long for the carefree days of toddlerhood.