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Why Do You Have a Mustache? and Other Insights from My Kids
Isn’t it fascinating how kids have this incredible ability to lighten even the heaviest moments with just a glance, a giggle, or a spontaneous, “You’re the best, Mom!” right when you need it the most? They’re inherently funny, often without even trying. “Mom, I’m never going to eat something gross again.” I’m still baffled by the whole poop-eating scenario, but hey, I’m thrilled about his newfound commitment to avoiding it.
As they say, “Kids say the darndest things,” and it’s absolutely true. On particularly tough days, a simple look at my children can instantly lift my spirits. All of my concerns seem to evaporate in an instant. Motherhood has a unique way of transforming one’s soul. It’s a gradual change; those around you might sense something’s different, but they can’t quite put their finger on it. It’s like if you colored your hair just a tad too dark—people notice, but they’re not sure what’s off. Except when it comes to my kids; they have a remarkable knack for observation.
While they may not express appreciation for the countless tasks I tackle daily that often go unnoticed, they show their gratitude in their own hilarious ways. “Mom, is that a red spot on your face? Can I touch it?” This fantastic sense of humor is quite the icebreaker. I hadn’t realized I had an adolescent mark sprouting on my face, and, honestly, no one is touching anything! Ouch.
“Mom, why are there eyelashes on your legs?” I cherish their curiosity almost as much as I love cool autumn days and comfy pants. Bless the Midwest! “Mom, do you have a mustache?” Until that very moment, I was blissfully unaware, but now I realize, yes, I indeed do. It’s like having that one best friend who doesn’t hesitate to tell you when you’ve got something stuck in your teeth, saving you from public embarrassment.
“Do you use teeth whitener, Mom?” Such a loaded question that could be taken in multiple ways, but the tone makes the intent pretty clear. It rivals the classic starters like, “No offense, Mom, but…” “Your armpits smell, Mom.” I didn’t invite them into my personal space, yet here they are, poking around where they probably shouldn’t. I’m not about to shower again just for them. Nope. I attribute it to the aging process (see the almost 40 comment above). Next week, I might smell like my grandma’s house—the familiar scent we all know. But honestly, I appreciate any chance for a little personal space.
“Ugh! Stop dancing, Mom.” My kids despise it. But behind closed doors, I embrace it fully. The irony is, I really can’t dance! “Stanky Legg,” I retort. Who’s the boss now?
“Why don’t you have a real job, Mom?” This is a fair question from their perspective. I could go into a long monologue about how my role is the most rewarding job in the world, filled with joy and reasons to smile every single day. But let’s face it, I’m tired of hearing myself talk. Instead, I’ll opt to pick my own zits, skip shaving my legs, apply vinegar under my arms, and pour myself another glass of teeth-staining red wine. I know the risks, so let me be. Mommy’s beautiful on the inside.
For more relatable parenting stories, check out our piece on home insemination and the amazing resources available through CDC on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, while the candid observations from my children can be both amusing and a bit shocking, they remind me of the joy and spontaneity that comes with motherhood. Their innocent questions and humorous remarks can brighten even the darkest days, making every moment special.