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My Son and the Glittery Pink Sneakers by Emma Taylor
November 3, 2023
I have twin boys who are four years old. While they may look alike, they are completely different personalities. They are your typical little boys who revel in dirt, bugs, and mud. Often, they are referred to simply as the twins, Max and Leo. To emphasize their individuality, I avoid dressing them in matching outfits. This became particularly apparent during a recent trip to the shoe store, which took an unexpected turn when Leo expressed his desire for glittery pink sneakers designed for girls.
Leo has a unique sense of style. He adores colors like pink and purple, and he’s drawn to frills and even lace. Last Halloween, he chose a pink plastic pumpkin for trick-or-treating, which has since become one of his most cherished items. So, when he gravitated toward the glittery pink shoes, I couldn’t help but chuckle—until it was time to say no. I explained that they weren’t practical for playing in the mud and that he wouldn’t want to ruin them. We were there to purchase sneakers meant for outdoor fun, and he eventually chose a more conventional pair of boys’ sneakers. Crisis averted.
As I was checking out, I reflected on the real reason behind my denial of the pink sneakers. My hesitation stemmed from a desire to protect him from potential bullying. I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed about his choice. More importantly, I was trying to shield him from a harsh world that may not be as accepting. I desperately want to preserve his innocence for as long as possible. Although society has evolved, and people are generally more open-minded about boys wearing pink, there will always be those who lack understanding. To Leo, those shoes represented something beautiful and fun, and yet, I didn’t buy them.
In hindsight, I should have purchased those shoes. I had an opportunity to teach him a vital lesson about self-acceptance: “Be proud of who you are. Embrace your uniqueness.” Instead, my actions conveyed the opposite message: “Conform to what others expect. Blend in, and you won’t get hurt.” This is not the message I want to instill in my boys. From day one, I’ve taught them to celebrate differences and to understand that diversity is what enriches our lives. I want them to be kind, compassionate, and to love wholeheartedly.
Leo doesn’t understand that pink glitter shoes are typically considered for girls. He doesn’t realize that boys are often expected to conform to certain norms. All he knows is that he loves sparkles, and his twin brother enjoys superheroes. Is it so wrong for a mother to want to keep that innocence intact for as long as possible? Will he remember the day I said no to those pink shoes? I hope not, and I hope it won’t impact how he views himself in the future.
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Summary:
In a heartfelt reflection, a mother grapples with her decision to deny her son the pink sparkly shoes he desires. While wanting to protect him from potential bullying, she questions whether she is inadvertently teaching him to suppress his individuality. The story highlights the struggle between nurturing a child’s self-acceptance and shielding them from societal norms.