Some people insist that once a romantic relationship ends, all ties must be severed, believing it’s absurd to meet an ex for dinner years later. I, however, hold a different perspective.
During my single days, I had my fair share of dates, though I was never one for blind setups. That changed when a former coworker introduced me to a charming psychiatrist. He was good-looking and seemed well-adjusted, but he firmly believed that men and women couldn’t maintain a platonic friendship. During an extravagant dinner, he stated he could never date a woman who kept in touch with her exes. At that moment, I nearly choked on my shrimp and knocked over my wine glass—thankfully, I had some vodka in my purse to ease the embarrassment.
I made it clear that I couldn’t be with someone who felt insecure about my friendships with past partners. He insisted that sexual tension was essential in relationships, and we debated like a couple on the verge of splitting up, until he proudly brandished his Ph.D. I think I left him at the hostess stand with more than just a drink spill.
Fast forward to today, and I’m grateful to maintain solid friendships with many of my former partners. Those boys I once dated are now happily married with children, and their wives have embraced our unique connections. It’s a testament that just because a relationship doesn’t work out romantically, it doesn’t mean the friendship has to end. When you spend significant time with someone, they often become friends—or even best friends—so why should that change?
Recently, I hosted an event and invited my local supporters, including my exes and their wives. It was a joyful gathering, and when two of my exes arrived just as my husband walked in, the energy was palpable. We all shared a laugh, and as I chatted with the wives, one remarked, “It shows a lot about you as a person that they would want to come.” Another chimed in, calling me the “cool ex-girlfriend,” which made me chuckle.
Later that night, I felt a wave of emotion. Not only did these men come to support me, but their wives also offered me their friendship, welcoming me into their lives. They had no obligation to do so, yet they honored my enduring bond with their husbands. It was a heartwarming experience.
My husband and I have been friends for over 25 years, meeting when I was dating one of his friends. He knows my past and fully supports my friendships with my exes. I feel incredibly fortunate to have these people surrounding me—individuals who trust my intentions and understand my heart. As we grow older, we often discover who our true friends are, and sometimes they come in the most unexpected forms. I’ve also added some wonderful women to my circle, and I look forward to nurturing those relationships.
As for that awkward blind date, he’s probably still out there searching for “the one,” but at least he paid for dinner and didn’t call back—proof that not all friendships are worth keeping.
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In summary, my choice to maintain friendships with my ex-boyfriends has enriched my life and created a strong support network that includes their wives. Rather than viewing past relationships as failures, I celebrate the friendships that have evolved from them, and I’m grateful for the connections I continue to nurture.