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My Child’s Project Wasn’t Perfect, and I’m Totally Fine With That
Let’s get one thing straight: my son is in kindergarten, and for his age, his project was actually pretty amazing. It was a display of youthful creativity and effort (though I might be a tad biased).
Having navigated the parenting waters with my older child—who’s now 10 and thinks he knows it all—I’ve learned some tough lessons. Helping him with homework has never been an option, and I’ve found that hovering over him while he procrastinates doesn’t yield great results either. It took countless nights of battling over spelling words and realizing that common core math leaves me baffled to come to this realization.
So, when my youngest had to make a poster about what he wanted to be when he grew up, I knew I wanted to guide him, but I wasn’t about to take over the project. My mind raced with ideas. We could visit local fire stations, snap pictures, print them out, and neatly arrange them on the poster. It would be stunning!
But then I thought, that’s a lot of work for me and not nearly enough for him. So, I took a step back.
On a Sunday afternoon, we sat down together to brainstorm how to transform that blank poster into “I want to be a firefighter.”
“I want to draw pictures, Mommy,” he said.
At that moment, I may have breathed a sigh of relief.
With crayons and colored pencils ready, I sat with him, helping him think through his ideas. I suggested things when he seemed uncertain, and, yes, I drew one thing for him—a fire hose that unintentionally resembled a penis. Oops! I also spelled the words he didn’t know and helped him organize his poster.
In just 30 minutes, he had completed his project. We both felt proud, though I was beaming with pride for him and his effort.
A few days later, I attended the class presentation and saw the other projects. Some were perfectly crafted with tiny pieces of paper glued in immaculate rows, and others had rock-solid arrangements of various objects, all with flawless handwriting and capitalization. Wow, those parents really put in the effort! For a brief moment, I felt a twinge of regret that I didn’t push my son more for a fancier project.
But then I thought, “Oh no!” What he submitted was authentically his work, not mine. He made the creative choices, and he chose the information to share.
Sure, his project may not have been as polished as the others, but when he’s in 5th grade dealing with a forgotten diorama or a last-minute science experiment, he won’t expect me to swoop in and save the day.
I believe in starting early. While it’s common for parents to help more during the early years, I’m setting a clear expectation now. I’m here to assist, to guide, and to advise, but the work is ultimately theirs. They don’t go to work for me, so why should I do their assignments? It doesn’t teach them anything worthwhile.
In the end, my son nailed his age-appropriate project, and his teacher acknowledged his hard work. And that’s the real lesson he needed to learn—not that Mom will come to the rescue when things get tough.
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In summary, my child’s project wasn’t perfect, but I’m proud of the effort he put in and the lessons he learned. Encouraging independence now will only benefit him in the future.