Growing up, the world of boys felt entirely unfamiliar to me. My childhood was filled with the laughter and chatter of my sister and our single mom, so I was surrounded by girls at all times. My interactions with boys were limited, and I never really formed close friendships with them. The most significant male presence in my life was my husband, who I met when we were both young. He quickly became my best friend and helped dissolve my earlier fears about boys, showing me that they have gentle, kind sides too.
When I discovered I was expecting a boy for the first time, I was filled with apprehension. I felt completely unprepared for the challenge of raising a child who seemed to embody “snips and snails and puppy dog tails.” The journey of raising my two boys has been both exhilarating and enlightening, teaching me invaluable lessons about boys and myself. As my first son approaches his ninth birthday, I find myself both amazed and proud. His unique “boyishness” is one of the most charming aspects of his character.
Here are nine insights I’ve gained over the years from my adventure in raising boys:
- Diaper Positioning Matters! I quickly learned the importance of keeping my baby boy’s penis pointing downward in his diaper. No matter how effective the diaper, if it’s not tucked in properly, expect some unexpected squirting. Once they figure out how to sneak their hand in there, all bets are off. Each nighttime accident I’ve dealt with has been a result of poor positioning!
- They Can’t Break! I often found myself asking my husband, “Is it really okay for him to do that to his penis?” The answer has always been a reassuring yes, even when they’re experimenting with pulling, twisting, and inserting objects.
- Boys Cry Too. Contrary to popular belief, boys are not always the tough ones. They cry over anything from minor injuries to emotional hurt. It’s crucial to validate their feelings and remind them that expressing emotions, even sadness, is a sign of strength.
- Wild Energy is Real. While girls can also have boundless energy, boys often take it to another level. A few hours indoors, and my boys turn into little tornadoes, bouncing off walls and climbing everything in sight. It’s exhausting but often hilarious (as long as no one gets hurt!).
- Interests Aren’t Gendered. I never imposed gender norms on my boys. Surprisingly, they were drawn to pink and purple toys early on—one loved a pink shopping cart, while the other cherished a sparkly tiara. As they grew and became more aware of gender roles, their toy choices shifted, but I was glad to let them explore without limitations.
- Bathroom Cleanup is Lifelong. After potty training, I thought I was in the clear, but cleaning pee off the bathroom floor has become a never-ending chore. Boys of all ages can struggle to aim properly. While you can teach them, it seems to be a universal challenge. Some parents have found success in having their sons clean up after themselves—if you have tips, please share!
- Not All Boys Love Gross Humor. I assumed having boys would mean constant bathroom jokes and mud play, but I’ve learned that’s not universal. My sons, for instance, have no interest in getting dirty, which is quite the surprise.
- Compassion Knows No Gender. My younger son, at just three years old, is one of the kindest souls I know. He senses when I’m upset and comforts me with a simple, “Are you sad?” This shows that boys can be just as caring and sensitive as girls, debunking stereotypes.
- Raising a Future Man. Understanding that I’m not just raising boys but future men has been eye-opening. Good men are vital for society, yet many are taught to suppress their emotions. By fostering kindness and emotional expression, we can help create a better world.
The bond between mothers and sons is special. Despite the chaos my boys sometimes bring—like jumping down stairs or collapsing on me—I know they respect me and value our relationship. My journey in raising them has been beyond anything I could have imagined, and I cherish every moment.
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In summary, raising boys has been a whirlwind of lessons and joys, teaching me about their unique needs, the importance of emotional expression, and the special bond we share.