When I look back at my approach to parenting, I often feel like I’ve chosen the tougher route. For example, I can’t help but give my kids “the look” and a brief lecture if they neglect to greet others in an elevator. Sure, I could choose to overlook their lack of courtesy and just applaud their every action, but I can’t stand to ignore ungratefulness. Every morning, I prepare to tackle behaviors that I hope will shape them into kind-hearted individuals. Here are ten practices that consume my energy but aim to foster decency in my children.
- I Keep It Real About Losing
I don’t sugarcoat things when my child faces defeat. While I strive to be gentle, it’s essential for them to understand that there are winners and losers in most competitions. If you’re new to parenting, addressing this concept is crucial. And if you’re tempted to hand out participation trophies to everyone, I suggest reconsidering that approach. - Not Every Artwork Makes the Fridge
I appreciate the value of art, but I set boundaries. When my 7-year-old hands me a few scribbles and expects it to be displayed like a masterpiece, I have to draw the line. We can’t celebrate every single creation, especially when it’s a half-hearted effort. - Birthday Party Vetting
When my kids get invited to a birthday party, I require a five-point presentation before I agree to attend: How well do you know the birthday child? What’s their favorite thing? How often do you play together? Have you had any arguments? Would you buy them a gift from your own allowance? This last question is a real game-changer regarding their enthusiasm for attending. - No Forced Eating
I never resort to threats like “If you don’t eat this, then…” I worry about my kids developing a negative association with food, given my love for it. My rules are simple: This is what’s for dinner, and if you don’t like it, refer to Rule A. - No Fancy Lunch Packing
I don’t engage in elaborate lunch-making. To the creative parents who create intricate food art, kudos to you! But I lack the time and energy for that kind of effort—no train-shaped sandwiches here! - Implementing Electronic Bans
To combat the mind-numbing state my kids sometimes fall into, I impose electronic bans. I designate certain times of the day for a complete break from screens, even if it results in a bit of chaos. - Letting Them Play War Games
My boys immerse themselves in imaginary soldier games while my daughter plays with dolls. Our home is a chaotic blend of glitter and Nerf guns—a space where creativity and adventure collide. - Creative Bribery Techniques
When my kids are acting up and guests are about to arrive, I offer them the best incentive I can think of. Just make sure to remind them that mentioning the bribe will void the deal; they will soon learn that sometimes going along with the plan is more rewarding. - Discussing Difficult Topics
When topics like death arise, I seize the opportunity to have open discussions. I don’t believe in shying away from such conversations. A mature dialogue can benefit them greatly, and most kids appreciate the honesty. - The Importance of the Three-Minute Rule
I’ve adopted the Three-Minute Law, which suggests that the first and last three minutes of a child’s day are crucial. I start each morning gently, asking about their breakfast and any exciting plans for the day. At night, I make time to check in on their feelings. This practice strengthens our bond and establishes a sense of security.
I’ve heard plenty of advice about “letting kids be kids” and assuming they’ll learn on their own, but I’ve encountered too many rude adults and teens. Thus, I will continue to provide my children with a dose of reality infused with love. I hope that, in time, they will appreciate these lessons and evolve into decent human beings. Meanwhile, I’ll be taking a moment to explain why it’s not acceptable to speak to me like I’m a waitress!
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In summary, raising kind children requires effort and dedication, but the rewards of nurturing empathy and decency are immeasurable. By setting boundaries, being honest, and fostering open dialogue, you can help shape your children into caring individuals who contribute positively to the world.