If you have a parent facing health challenges and you’re not nearby, you might find yourself in a familiar phone exchange. For instance:
“How did your doctor’s appointment go?”
“It was fine, I guess,” your parent replies.
“Were there any answers? Did the doctor provide any insights?”
“I’m not entirely sure. They mentioned more tests.”
“What about the tests that were conducted already? Any results?”
“Not yet.”
“Why not? Are the results still pending?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t quite catch what the nurse said.”
“What nurse? Was it the doctor or someone else?”
“Could’ve been a PA.”
“What was her name?”
“Something like Barilla? Or maybe it was a type of pasta.”
“So what’s the next step?”
“No clue.”
Isn’t that reassuring? I’ve had similar conversations with both my grandparents and now my parents. Living a day’s drive away, these discussions often leave me feeling overwhelmed. While I try to take action through calls and letters, HIPAA regulations often leave me in the dark. My family is left waiting for the next appointments, but they attend those alone, too.
As members of the baby boomer generation, my parents find themselves in a world where I, a proud member of the “sandwich generation,” am navigating the challenges of raising children while also caring for my aging parents. Ai-jen Poo discusses in her insightful book, “The Age of Dignity,” the impending eldercare crisis we are facing. With the aging population, many seniors will require various levels of assistance, from simple tasks like meal prep to continuous care. However, there are limited systems in place to support those who wish to age in their own homes—an idea known as “aging in place.” The Centers for Disease Control defines this as the capability to live safely and independently in one’s home and community, regardless of age or ability.
The issue partly stems from our health insurance structure. Although doctors can prescribe home visits, there are few options available for seniors needing continuous care. For instance, a parent who is not ready for a nursing home but requires daily check-ins may struggle to receive the necessary support.
Poo suggests several strategies in her book, many of which other countries already utilize. For example, Japan allows individuals to apply for benefits and receive assessments at age 65, enabling them to access various levels of care. This approach acknowledges that age-related decline can be a long-term process and that occasional visits from home health aides may not suffice.
In the United States, some communities are innovating to address the aging-in-place dilemma. An article by the Brookings Institution highlights “villages,” networks of support for seniors that resemble intentional communities, allowing members to age in their own homes. These nonprofit organizations, funded by membership dues, offer services such as transportation, social events, medical referrals, and volunteers to assist with everyday tasks, like grocery shopping or moving furniture. While not widespread, these initiatives are primarily found in urban and suburban regions—there are even ten villages in Washington, D.C. For further insights, explore the Village to Village network.
It’s evident that we require significant changes in how we care for our senior citizens—changes that will enable them to age gracefully at home while providing fair wages for eldercare workers. Until such reforms occur, we must rely on these emerging solutions. For instance, the Village to Village network in my parents’ state offers a service called “medical notetaker.” I’ll certainly keep that in mind.
In summary, as we navigate the complexities of caring for our aging parents from afar, it is crucial to explore innovative solutions that can support their desire to remain in their homes. Whether through community networks or leveraging available resources, we can make a difference.
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