On November 13, while I was 29 weeks pregnant, I embarked on my first solo international flight to Paris. My partner was there for a work commitment, and I joined him for a brief “babymoon.” We explored the city, indulging in delicious crepes and macarons, soaking in the beauty around us, and cherishing our time together.
Later that evening, while we debated which dessert to order at dinner, my phone buzzed with a Facebook notification. A friend had tagged me in a post about a shooting in Paris. I was stunned and had no clue what was unfolding. After confirming our safety to loved ones and my husband, we initially dismissed it as an isolated incident. But as the night progressed, we learned it was far worse than we imagined.
Back in our hotel, we were inundated with messages from concerned family and friends. We posted updates on social media to reassure everyone, while frantically seeking news on the unfolding situation. We stayed up late, glued to our screens, feeling safe yet anxious.
As we settled into bed, however, fear seeped in. In the stillness of the night, my worries grew louder. I cried for the lives impacted by this tragedy and for the uncertainty of whether I would ever meet our son. My partner comforted me, equally scared but determined to uplift my spirits. In that moment, our love for each other and our unborn child felt more profound than ever.
The following day, we remained in our hotel, grappling with the magnitude of the violence that had occurred. I searched for answers, reading countless articles but finding little solace in the chaos. Yet amid the pain, I discovered that Paris’s motto is “Fluctuat nec mergitur,” which translates to “tossed but not sunk.” When we ventured out for food, I noted the somber atmosphere, but there was also a sense of resilience. Locals filled cafes and ventured into shops, their warmth and kindness shining through even in the face of adversity.
By the day’s end, it was clear: Parisians epitomized their city’s motto. Their unwavering spirit was evident through personal interactions and stories of bravery. This city, despite the darkness, was filled with strength.
When our son is old enough, I hope to impart the significance of that weekend. We encountered a heartbreaking tragedy but emerged with a renewed appreciation for love and family. We witnessed individuals whose lives had irrevocably changed, yet they remained unbreakable. Kindness triumphed in a city marked by grief. While I cannot shield my son from the harsh realities of the world, I aspire to teach him to seek out the goodness amid despair. I envision him as a beacon of light in dark times, embodying Paris’s motto—resilient and unwavering in the face of adversity.
My life has been forever altered by that experience, a reminder that many live with similar fears daily, even within their own communities. This tragedy is but one of countless events happening across the globe. I refuse to take my safety or freedom for granted and hope to instill this awareness in my son. From now on, I will strive to live in a manner that reflects the spirit of Paris. I will not sink; I will rise.
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Summary
Emily Hartman shares her emotional experience in Paris during tragic events, reflecting on love, resilience, and the lessons she hopes to impart to her unborn son. Through this experience, she emphasizes the importance of kindness and strength in overcoming adversity.