How does one manage work-related travel while raising two young children at home? This is a question I field almost weekly, as I often find myself on the road for a few days each week, leaving my 4- and 6-year-olds behind. My instinctive reply might go something like this: “I pack my suitcase the night before, head to the airport, park, board the plane, work, return home, plead with my partner to do laundry, and ultimately realize that my pleas don’t yield much.” But in truth, that’s not the answer people are seeking. They want to hear about the guilt I feel leaving my family and the worries of missing precious moments. While those feelings do arise, I also recognize the positive aspects of my situation.
Many working parents grapple with guilt when leaving their children. Although I experience sadness and have missed milestones, I remind myself that I am pursuing a passion that can positively impact others. I strive to explain my work to my children in ways that resonate with them, helping them understand the importance of what I do. To ease the burden of my absence, I’ve developed a few strategies to keep my family and my sanity afloat:
- Supportive Partnership: I’m fortunate to have a partner, Alex, who excels in managing household responsibilities while I’m away. It’s bittersweet to witness the bond my children have formed with their father during my absences. While it stings to not be their sole go-to, it’s liberating to know that Alex can meet their needs just as well.
- A Strong Support Network: I rely heavily on an incredible network of friends, neighbors, and caregivers. We actively nurture these relationships, helping each other out in times of need. Our kids spend so much time with their friends that they often think of them as part of the family!
- Understanding Employer: My job allows me to work from home when I’m not traveling, which gives me the flexibility to be present for my family in ways that a traditional 9-to-5 wouldn’t. My employer appreciates that some of my best work happens late at night after the kids are asleep, making it easier to balance family and career.
- Protecting My Schedule: I’m diligent about maintaining my work schedule, only making adjustments for compelling reasons. I’m lucky to plan my calendar in advance, accommodating family events whenever possible. I know this might hinder my career progression, but I’m okay with that for now, understanding that priorities can shift.
- Staying Connected: Technology plays a crucial role in bridging the gap when I travel. FaceTime has been a game-changer, enabling me to help with homework, join bedtime routines, and introduce my kids to my colleagues. Including them in my work life helps them see that I’m working, not just vacationing without them.
- Small Gestures Matter: I love leaving notes in my kids’ lunch boxes to remind them I’m thinking of them. Sneaking in a little surprise the morning I leave is a fun way to let them know I care.
- Prioritizing Family Time: When I’m home, I strive to disconnect from technology and focus on my children. While it’s tempting to get lost in the digital world, I remind myself that this time with them is fleeting. On days when I falter, I forgive myself and aim to be the parent I aspire to be.
- Involving My Kids in Travel: Whenever possible, I bring my children along on work trips, particularly during summer breaks. I’ve had them join me in locations where family or friends can help, allowing us to enjoy new experiences together while they see where I work.
- Couple Time: My partner and I make it a point to connect while I’m away. We coach the same team, so we take time to go over strategies and ensure we’re on the same page, creating a strong support system for our family.
This lifestyle isn’t for everyone, and it definitely has its challenges. I cherish both my career and my family, constantly learning to strike a balance. Some days are easier than others, but I remind myself to be kind to myself and enjoy the journey.
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Summary
Balancing work and family life as a traveling mom involves leveraging support from partners, friends, and employers, utilizing technology to stay connected, and ensuring quality time with children. It requires setting boundaries and being present when home. Each family’s situation is unique, and it’s important to find what works best for you.