November 29, 2015
Let’s face it: Kids are people, too. While this might seem like a no-brainer, it often feels like some adults treat children as if they’re extraterrestrial beings, reacting with frustration to their presence. Why does this happen? The explanation lies in a fundamental misunderstanding of what childhood truly entails.
It appears there’s a growing expectation among adults that children should behave in ways that are simply beyond their developmental capabilities. For instance, restaurant owners might scold toddlers for having meltdowns, expecting them to possess the emotional intelligence to manage their feelings. Similarly, many adults wish for child-free flights, frustrated by the noise and unpredictability that comes with young passengers. This creates a societal environment where the mere existence of children is often met with irritation, rather than understanding.
Some may argue that this criticism reflects on parenting rather than on children themselves. However, it’s crucial to note that both are interconnected. After all, we become parents because our children start life as—surprise—children! An understanding of childhood is essential for comprehending the challenges of parenting.
Parenting isn’t solely about correcting misbehavior; it’s primarily about teaching children how to navigate life successfully. This process is lengthy and far more complex than it may seem at first glance. Human children don’t arrive fully equipped to thrive in society. They lack the verbal skills, social awareness, and self-regulation that adults often take for granted. Parents play a pivotal role in guiding them through these formative experiences.
One of the vital lessons children must learn is how to behave appropriately in public settings. This is not an innate skill; it’s learned through practice and often requires real-world exposure. So if we recognize that children don’t have fully developed frontal lobes, why do some adults expect toddlers to remain still in public, to suppress their cries of frustration, or to grasp complex reasoning? Such expectations are not only unrealistic but also ignore the fact that children are in the midst of learning.
Should parents refrain from dining out with their toddlers, flying, or engaging in public life altogether? That sounds like an impossible dilemma! While we aspire for our kids to mature into wonderful adults, the process is gradual. The key phrase is “growing up.” This journey involves introducing children to age-appropriate situations and helping them learn to navigate these experiences, which takes time and patience.
It’s reasonable to expect that kids will sometimes be uncooperative. Why? Because they’re kids! Just as we wouldn’t expect infants to gather their own food or toddlers to craft their own clothes, we shouldn’t anticipate toddlers to engage in adult-like behavior. It’s absurd to have any expectations beyond childlike actions from children—they are still on their path to becoming adults, and parents are there every step of the way to show them how.
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Summary:
In summary, expecting children to behave like adults in public is unrealistic and reveals a misunderstanding of childhood development. Parents play a critical role in teaching their kids appropriate public behavior over time. Understanding this process can help create a more empathetic environment for families.