As a mom of a 12-year-old boy, I anticipated the moment he would declare, “I can’t stand you!” Yet, it arrived far sooner than expected; he first said it at just 11. In that instant, my inner child wanted to retort, “Well, I can’t stand you either!” But, of course, I didn’t truly feel that way—I just wasn’t too fond of him at that moment. And deep down, I knew he didn’t mean it either.
Instead, I gave him a measured response. I gazed at his freckled face and calmly said, “Then my job here is done,” before leaving the room. While I wish I could claim that clever line as my own, it actually came from one of my favorite sitcoms, a classic from the late ’80s to mid-’90s.
In that moment, I recognized the truth: My son was upset because he wasn’t getting his way, and I had chosen to stand firm, even if it meant causing him frustration. This moment was actually a sign that I was doing something right.
Now that he’s navigating the tricky waters of puberty, he’s often moody and unpredictable, caught between needing my guidance and being embarrassed by me. It’s perfectly normal for him to not like me all the time. What matters is that I know, amidst those moments of animosity, he loves me, feels safe around me, and realizes I’m the one in charge.
As parents, it’s easy to slip into the role of trying to be our children’s best friends. There’s nothing quite like the joy of receiving a warm hug or seeing their face light up after you treat them to a donut, extend their bedtime, or allow them to play a video game a little longer. In those moments, we feel like the coolest parents ever.
However, our role is not to be their besties. We are parents, and often, that means making tough decisions that our kids may resent. And while it can be exhausting to navigate these emotional challenges, it’s also incredibly rewarding.
Shortly after I left my son’s room, he found me with a red, tear-streaked face and said, “You totally borrowed that line!”
Feigning innocence, I asked, “Borrowed?”
“You got that from that old show!”
We exchanged amused glances and erupted into laughter. He joined me on the bed, and we ended up watching the episode together. The moment of tension had passed. I had introduced him to the shows I loved growing up, leading him to know more about classic sitcoms than most kids his age. And you know what? I cherish that connection.
I’m fully aware that “I can’t stand you” will not be the last time he expresses his frustration with me. I may not always deliver the perfect comeback, but I understand that it’s okay. I don’t need to respond every time—my role as a parent is to guide him through these ups and downs.
For anyone interested in the journey of parenthood, this resource offers excellent insights into pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re curious about the tools available for self-insemination, check out this blog for some valuable information. You can also read about home insemination methods to stay informed about your options.
In summary, parenting involves navigating the challenging emotions of our kids, and sometimes they will express their frustrations. However, these moments can signify that we’re setting necessary boundaries and doing our jobs right.