Parenthood is a constant emotional rollercoaster. One moment, you feel the urge to escape it all; the very next, you’re overcome with the desire to hold your children close and never let them go. I refer to this as the Great Duality of Parenthood.
In my mind, I maintain two separate lists. One details everything I wish I could fast-forward through, while the other is a sentimental compilation of moments I wish I could freeze forever, cherishing every bit of my children’s fleeting childhoods.
The First List: Things I Wish I Could Fast-Forward Through
- Longing for Sleep
I crave real, uninterrupted sleep. There’s nothing more appealing than lying flat in bed for a solid eight hours without a tiny elbow jabbing my side or being woken up by a request for water right as I drift off. Sleep is more satisfying than chocolate, ice cream, coffee, or even cheese fries, and that’s saying something. - Desire to Work More
Before my kids came along, I was a thriving writer. Although I still manage to write, there are numerous ambitious projects I yearn to undertake—work that I can’t seem to fit into the brief windows of naptime and children’s shows. - Traveling Without Whining
Oh, how I dream of simply opening my car door, settling in, starting the engine, and driving anywhere—without the hassle of wrestling a squirming toddler into their seat or hearing the dreaded “Are we there yet?” I just want to do what I need to do and return home without drama. - Enjoying a Meal in Peace
I long for the days when I can eat without having to refill my children’s water cups every few minutes or listen to complaints about a speck of black on their broccoli or the temperature of their pasta, which was just “burning hot” a moment ago. I desire to savor a meal I’ve prepared while it’s still warm. - Kids Who Clean Up After Themselves
I wish for children who can tidy up their own messes—or at least make fewer of them! I’m exhausted from changing diapers, mopping up spills, and picking up countless dirty socks and crumbs throughout the day.
The Second List: Heartwarming Moments I Wish I Could Freeze
- Those Nights of Watching My Kids Sleep
I quietly stand in their rooms, entranced by the rise and fall of their little chests. They resemble the babies they once were, yet their bodies have grown long under the covers, stirring a deep emotion within me. - Sorting Through Outgrown Clothes
That tiny red sweatshirt with frayed elbows? I can’t bear to part with it. The froggie raincoat and the adorable shirt featuring a jumping monkey are off-limits too. And baby socks? Absolutely not. - When One of My Boys Shares His Sadness
When one of my boys comes to me with tears in his eyes, I know I’m the only one who can comfort him. It’s heart-wrenching to realize that these moments of vulnerability won’t last forever. - Evening Cuddles in Front of the TV
Settling down in our pajamas to watch TV, my eldest finds his way into the crook of my arm, twirling my hair, while the youngest curls up in my lap. Their warmth and sweetness make me wish I could freeze this moment in time. - When One of My Children Falls Asleep in My Arms
There’s nothing quite like feeling your child drift peacefully into sleep while cradled in your arms. That first sigh of slumber imbues a sense of pure joy. As they grow older, I can’t help but wonder if each time is the last I’ll experience such closeness.
Indeed, parenthood is a beautiful contradiction. It’s astounding to feel an overwhelming desire for simpler days and yet simultaneously wish to cling to the innocence of childhood forever. How is it possible to experience such conflicting emotions simultaneously?
I don’t have all the answers. I crave it all—the simplicity of my pre-kid life and the precious moments that come with parenting. I often reminisce about the carefree girl I once was, oblivious to the challenges ahead. Yet, I recognize that those challenges come hand-in-hand with the immense joy my children bring into my life. They inspire me to strive for a better world.
So here I remain, navigating the chaotic, exquisite world of parenthood—doing my best to hold on, let go, and embrace the reality that I can’t have it all at once. Perhaps acceptance is key, and all I can do is cherish this precious journey I’ve been given. For more insights on this journey, check out this blog post.
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Summary
Parenthood is a complex blend of joy and frustration, filled with moments we cherish alongside those we wish to fast-forward through. The emotional duality of wanting to escape the chaos while also yearning to hold on to our children’s fleeting childhoods paints a vivid picture of the parenting experience. By accepting this intricate journey, we can appreciate the beauty of each moment shared with our kids.