When Jessica Miller gave birth to her stillborn son, Ethan, at 22 weeks, her body still responded by producing breast milk. Rather than following her doctor’s advice to suppress lactation, she chose to embrace the gift of her milk. “I realized I had this milk available, and I wanted to make a difference,” Jessica shared with Today Parents.
With determination, she began to pump her milk for donation. Unfortunately, her workplace was not supportive of her decision. When she requested breaks to express milk, she was met with a harsh response: “Your baby is gone.” “It’s so disheartening how society stigmatizes grieving mothers,” Jessica reflected. “Just because my child isn’t here doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to my body’s natural processes.”
There’s an unfortunate silence surrounding the struggles of parents who have lost children during pregnancy. Society often expects these parents to simply move on, which adds to the pain. Jessica’s experience highlights a critical issue: if a mother is lactating, it’s her personal choice what to do with that milk.
Advocating for Change
In her pursuit of change, Jessica is advocating for an expansion of the Break Time for Nursing Mothers law to encompass bereaved and surrogate mothers. Over the course of eight months, her dedication led to an astounding 92 gallons of breast milk being donated, equating to more than 30,000 feedings of vulnerable infants. This selfless act not only honored Ethan’s memory but also provided support to countless families in need.
Jessica’s story resonated deeply with many mothers who have faced similar heartache. One comment on Today Parents’ Facebook page encapsulated the sentiment: “After my daughter was stillborn, I was flooded with milk weeks later. I chose to pump, and it brought me comfort knowing I was helping others.” Another mother shared, “My son was born prematurely and passed away. Donating milk was my way of coping with the loss.”
The Statistics Behind the Silence
Every year, approximately 25,000 babies, or 68 each day, are stillborn in the United States, leaving many families in grief. The strength and bravery exhibited by mothers who choose to donate their milk during such a challenging time deserve recognition and legal protection just like any other lactating women.
A New Path Forward
Jessica now works with the Mothers Milk Bank Northeast, aiming to become a breastfeeding consultant, while cherishing the daily reminders of Ethan through her advocacy. “Family and friends often hesitated to mention Ethan’s name, but now I get to share his story every day,” she said, smiling.
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Conclusion
In conclusion, Jessica Miller’s journey is a testament to the resilience of mothers facing unimaginable loss. Through her efforts, she has turned her grief into a powerful source of support for others while advocating for necessary changes in maternity laws.