We all know that kids transform everything, including how we approach dating our partners. Reflecting on it now, I realize that dating pre-kids felt more like a carefree party. My husband and I still prioritize date nights, but now they couldn’t be more different. Here’s a look at how our nights have evolved since becoming parents:
When We Go Out
- Pre-Kids: Every night was an option!
- With Kids: Now it’s maybe once a month if we’re lucky.
Getting Ready
- Pre-Kids: I’d take my sweet time, ensuring my legs were smooth, my outfit was flawless, and my makeup was on point. I’d even have a few moments to spare to relax before heading out.
- With Kids: Getting ready is a chaotic rush between feeding dinner and managing two toddlers. I often miss shaving a leg, can’t locate my jewelry (which my daughter is probably wearing), and I’m applying makeup while my daughter begs to use it. I sometimes forget jewelry altogether and just wear whatever I can find. Sneaking out while the kids are occupied is an art form now.
Deciding Where to Go
- Pre-Kids: We’d spend ages debating where to eat, feeling like we’d exhausted every option, and I’d often wish for new restaurants to try.
- With Kids: We’ve become decisively organized, maintaining a list of must-visit restaurants. I’ve likely been daydreaming about the meal for days and have already picked my order. If it’s not date night, we’re often out for a business dinner or event—no complaints!
At Dinner
- Pre-Kids: I’d order drinks and savor my meal peacefully, barely considering what bar we might hit next.
- With Kids: Dining out feels like royalty treatment; I’m struck by the quiet ambiance. We take our time, relish each bite, and occasionally glance around to ensure no tiny hands are reaching for our forks. We share laughs about the antics of our kids, who are likely amusing their grandparents at home. A text with a funny photo of them can make us both smile with nostalgia.
After Dinner
- Pre-Kids: We’d head to the bar without a care in the world, toasting with shots and dancing the night away.
- With Kids: Halfway through our first drink, anxiety creeps in about how the kids are faring. We start contemplating heading home, even if it’s still early. But one more drink is tempting—after all, it’s a special occasion!
Returning Home
- Pre-Kids: We’d roll in at 3 or 4 a.m., often grabbing a late-night snack on the way home, and crash into bed, blissfully unaware of the next day.
- With Kids: We find ourselves back by midnight, feeling like we’ve been away forever. We sneak into bed, only to be greeted by a curious 4-year-old asking about our evening. Snuggling with them is a sweet reminder of what we missed.
The Next Day
- Pre-Kids: We’d wake up ready to plan a day of relaxation, perhaps catching a game with wings and beer.
- With Kids: The next morning is a rude awakening—feeling like we’ve been hit by a truck after just a couple of drinks. But there’s no time to linger; our daughter has soccer practice at 8 a.m.
Maintaining a dating life is crucial for married couples, kids or not. While date nights become a rare treat once children come into the picture, I strive to make them a priority. Sometimes, even a 20-minute car ride with sleeping kids in the backseat feels like a romantic getaway. For more insights on navigating parenthood and relationships, check out our other post about home insemination here. If you’re looking for additional resources, this guide offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination, and if you’re interested in at-home options, you can learn more about the CryoBaby at-home insemination kit here.