While experts tout the “natural” beauty of breastfeeding, they clearly haven’t experienced the awkwardness of stripping down in a chilly office and attaching a pump to your chest like a milk machine. For mothers determined to continue breastfeeding after maternity leave, pumping becomes a necessary chore. And if you ever want to step out without your baby for more than a few hours (which, believe it or not, most rational adults do), on-the-go pumping can lead to even more uncomfortable situations. So, I present to you my top five most memorable pumping locations.
5. In a Cramped Hotel Bathroom Stall at a Conference
There’s nothing that screams “professional” more than trying to wriggle out of your top in a stall barely larger than a coffin while attending a conference with your company’s key clients.
4. In a Chic Hotel Room During a Company Meeting
Imagine having to explain to an intern fresh out of college that you need special arrangements for an all-day work event because you’ll need to pump milk. The bewildered and slightly horrified look on their face is enough to make you wish you could vanish. Bonus points for having to sit awkwardly on the floor of your antiquated hotel room, as the only electrical outlet is at ground level.
3. In the Bathroom of Our Future Home…During the Inspection
In the haze of new parenthood, my partner and I thought it was a great idea to search for our first house. Our offer was accepted surprisingly quickly, but the home inspection day coincided with my morning pumping session. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom of our potential house, which, by the way, was still occupied by strangers. I’ll always remember overhearing the inspector ask my partner if I was okay, while he floundered to explain my absence without suggesting I was dealing with a stomach issue.
2. At a Wedding Reception with Only One Bathroom
This was probably the most nerve-racking pumping experience I’ve had. When my daughter was six weeks old, we attended a wedding. It was my first time pumping outside home, and I only had a manual pump (meaning I could only work on one side at a time). I thought about checking with the venue for a more private spot for my electric pump, but I never followed through. Upon arrival, I realized there was only one bathroom for all guests. Oops!
1. During a Concert by My Favorite Artist
I surprised my partner with tickets to see his favorite band when our baby was about four months old. Knowing we would be away for hours, I planned to pump at least twice. I held off for the first two hours but had to rush to the bathroom between sets. It was surreal: while the crowd erupted for the encore, I was pumping as fast as I could. Just as I switched sides, the opening notes of one of their biggest hits began. Talk about multitasking! Thankfully, I made it back just in time for the grand finale.
So there you have it! Pumping can be creative and often awkward, but it leads to some unforgettable stories. Despite the discomforts and challenges, you’ll find humor in these experiences.
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In summary, while pumping can lead to some surprising and often humorous situations, it ultimately serves a vital purpose in maintaining your milk supply and feeding your little one.