I met my first true friend at the tender age of three when my family relocated from bustling Philadelphia to the serene hills of the Appalachian Mountains in Pennsylvania. One of my earliest memories is of sprinting down our long, dusty driveway to greet her right in the center. It felt like a marathon back then, with my parents watching from the window as I approached her for the first time. She was a year older and the only girl among a host of older brothers. From that moment, we were inseparable. Two little girls with dark hair in ponytails, we spent our days pretending to be in the Dukes of Hazzard, navigating our childhood adventures amidst the beauty of the mountains. It was in those moments that I learned the essence of friendship.
Over the years, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting many friends as I moved across countries, cities, and states. Each new chapter of my life brought new faces and experiences. Some friendships have stood the test of time, while others faded away, leaving me to reflect on the nature of true companionship. After nearly 37 years of friendships—both as a friend and a recipient of friendship—here are some invaluable lessons I’ve gathered:
- True friends aren’t concerned with appearances. Whether you’re sporting trendy boots or your beloved Birkenstocks from 1995, a genuine friend loves you for who you are, not what you wear or drive.
- They make the effort to check in. Life gets busy, but a real friend will take the time to see how you’re doing. It might be a quick text or a brief call, but they want you to know they care, even amid the chaos of life.
- Your biggest cheerleaders. When you achieve something great, a true friend won’t just clap for you; they’ll celebrate your success with the enthusiasm you deserve! They recognize your unique talents and share in your joy, making you both stronger together.
- Disagreement is okay. A friend who always agrees with you may not be a true friend. Differences in opinion are natural and can enrich your friendship. They respect your choices and love you regardless.
- Distance and time are no barriers. I recently reconnected with an old friend over a couple of glasses of wine after six long years apart. We laughed until we cried, just like the old days, proving that true friendships can pick up right where they left off.
- Imperfections are part of the journey. Friends understand that neither of you is perfect. When misunderstandings arise, a true friend will communicate openly, valuing the relationship enough to work through any bumps together.
Throughout our lives, we encounter friends in various circumstances. Some friendships blossom and last a lifetime, while others spark momentarily over shared interests, work, or even our children. As mothers, our friendships evolve, often intertwining with our kids’ lives, teaching them the importance of being a good friend too.
Remember, friendships cannot be forced. If someone wishes to be your friend, they’ll make the effort. So cherish those close to you! Go ahead and send a quick message to let them know how much they mean to you. And to my childhood friend, Emma, the one with whom I shared countless adventures—thank you for being my first lesson in friendship. I hope my daughter finds someone just like you.
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Summary
Friendship is a beautiful journey filled with lessons learned over time. From the importance of being supportive to respecting differences, true friends enrich our lives. Cherish those connections and remember to reach out to your friends to show them you care.