People often assume that I have everything under control, projecting an image of organization and confidence. To outsiders, it appears that I effortlessly juggle parenting three kids, maintaining a home, and writing without breaking a sweat.
Yet, what remains hidden from view is the reality of my daily struggles. Parenting often feels akin to navigating a vast ocean in a sailboat, with no prior sailing experience. As for my writing journey, people only see the highlights while the setbacks remain my own private battles.
Despite these challenges, I do find moments to write, read, and simply enjoy some downtime. Perhaps that’s where the notion of my superhuman capabilities arises. But in truth, I’m simply a mom.
Being “just a mom” doesn’t signify a total surrender to motherhood, allowing it to consume every moment of my day. In fact, it embodies quite the opposite. To me, being just a mom involves:
- Ensuring my kids are safe and healthy.
- Making certain they’re dressed appropriately for the weather (coordinating colors, optional).
- Providing meals and ensuring they get ample sleep.
- Aiding them in becoming productive, well-adjusted individuals.
That’s my core. I recognize that for many, motherhood includes an array of additional responsibilities, but that’s not how I operate.
- I’m not a chauffeur. I don’t even drive, and honestly, I lack the motivation to shuttle my kids to after-school events.
- I’m not a teacher. The education of my children is primarily in the hands of their school. Sure, I taught them to read, and I value education, but I expect them to tackle their homework independently.
- I’m not a chef. While I enjoy cooking, I prepare meals for myself and am perfectly content serving my kids hot dogs or pre-made meals. Sometimes they get a say in what’s for dinner, depending on my mood.
- I’m not a housekeeper. I handle laundry and tidying up, but a spotless home isn’t my priority. I teach my kids to clean up after themselves and do chores, and we also have a cleaner who visits weekly.
- I’m not a mind-reader. I don’t believe it’s my responsibility to know my kids’ every desire or need. I choose to focus on more pressing matters.
- I’m not a detective. I refuse to play the role of finder for lost items or to investigate sibling disputes. If something is lost, they need to learn to handle it themselves.
- I’m not a playmate or entertainer. My kids have plenty of toys and each other to keep them occupied. They can also enjoy YouTube or play on their devices.
This approach to being just a mom allows me the freedom to pursue my passions outside of motherhood, such as reading, writing, and socializing.
I understand that some women find fulfillment in fully embracing motherhood. They relish art projects, driving to and from activities, and organizing beautifully themed birthday parties. For them, staying home and caring for little ones is the most significant contribution they can make. For some, it’s a sacrifice; for others, a joyful choice.
For me, however, it will never be sufficient, and after years of grappling with this feeling, I’ve made peace with it. I am just a mom—and that is more than enough.
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In summary, my journey as a mom is one filled with challenges and triumphs, but I refuse to let the pressures of motherhood define me. Embracing my identity as just a mom, I find joy in the balance of parenting and personal passions.