1. Denial
You find yourself trying to convince yourself that those seven boxes from the online store are just filled with cuddly plush toys. Is it really almost midnight? Surely, this won’t take long; we’ll be asleep by 12:00 a.m. Maybe most of the toys are pre-assembled. I’ve got this—after all, I was the president of my woodworking club back in school! Nothing requires batteries, right? I purchased all the batteries we might need and in the right sizes too. Of course, I know exactly where the drill is located, and yes, the cordless drill is charged. I can even find that tiny screwdriver without any trouble. All the pre-drilled holes are, well, pre-drilled. This year, we won’t be needing the 9-inch chef knife, pliers, or even a blow torch. I promise.
2. Blame
Ah, here come the snarky remarks from the partner who didn’t help with any of the toy shopping yet was reminded to start assembling everything weeks ago. And let’s not forget the other half who has been “over Christmas” since Halloween, snatching up the hottest toy for the kiddo who only asked for that one thing. It’s your fault; the kids don’t need all these toys! Uh, NO—it’s your fault for not stepping up! And don’t even get me started on your mother; she went overboard with gifts for her grandkids! Seriously? It’s your fault for not having any daughters! Go ahead and take that two-foot-long race track and shove it—I’m done. I’m going to sleep.
3. Reminiscing
Ah, the serene Christmas Eve before the kids came along—just the two of us, cozy by the fire, enjoying a peaceful dinner free of chicken nuggets, and no toy assembly in sight. Oh, the days of sleeping in until 11 a.m., sipping coffee, and enjoying deep conversations while exchanging meaningful gifts. Remember our first Christmas together as a married couple, eagerly anticipating the arrival of our first child? We couldn’t wait for the day when our little one would fearlessly sit on Santa’s lap, writing charming letters to him and fully believing in the magic of Christmas. Memories, like the corners of this coffee table we haven’t seen in years because it’s now childproof. So here’s to waking up at 5 a.m. tomorrow, grateful for the thoughtful water heater we gifted each other for Christmas. What should we do for New Year’s Eve? Set an alarm for midnight so we can share a kiss!
4. “We’re Done Having Kids”
This realization usually hits a few kids in, around 2 a.m., when you’re bleary-eyed and slightly irritable. A hungry baby wakes up just as the toddler begins to cry from a nightmare, and you still have hours of assembling the perfect toy workbench ahead of you. You both start expressing your frustrations. Her: “Don’t ever touch me again.” Him: “Let’s have another baby, you said! It’ll be fun, you said!” Her: “I’m never having intimacy with you again.” Him: “How can we? They ALL sleep with us!” Her: “NO. MORE. KIDS.” Him: “Fine, you got it.” Spoiler alert: You end up having two more anyway.
5. Acceptance
Eventually, communication breaks down, and you just dive into the task at hand. Working like little elves, you push through the fatigue and get it done. You chuckle at the earlier arguments and take a break to step outside into the chilly night air, testing the new shiny red scooter. You toss the new football back and forth and kick around the soccer ball. You scribble “From Santa” on the new bike, set the trains on the tracks, and stuff the stockings. You might even catch a few minutes of sleep, grateful for the joyous noise the kids will make come sunrise. You accept that you’re adults now, and you’ve survived yet another Christmas Eve as loving parents. Merry Christmas!
This article originally published on Dec. 24, 2015. For more insights on family life, check out our other blogs, including a helpful guide on home insemination at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re seeking expert advice on pregnancy and home insemination, visit ASRM. Looking to create a family? BabyMaker is a fantastic resource for your journey.
Summary
This article humorously depicts the stages of assembling toys on Christmas Eve, from denial about the amount of work to blame-shifting, reminiscing about quieter times, and ultimately accepting the chaos of parenting. As parents navigate late-night assembly sessions, they reflect on their pre-kid lives while embracing the joy of family.