As parents, we often find ourselves wishing our little ones could set some resolutions to make our lives a bit easier (and more entertaining). Here’s a lighthearted take on what those resolutions might look like.
- Sleep more soundly and keep the couch free of booger decorations.
- Organize my toys! Out with the chaos and in with the bins of bliss.
- Accept that certain items—like knives, pens, and loose change—are just not suitable for my age.
- Work on my social skills: be kinder to friends and maybe a tad less friendly to strangers.
- While I’ve achieved restroom touch stats, I’ll aim for a cleaner experience next time.
- Time to end my toxic relationship with the remote control. It’s caused enough family drama; I’ll leave it behind.
- Focus on the positives! Broccoli and mashed potatoes together? Yum! Stuffed animals in a new arrangement? Creative!
- Start being more eco-conscious. First step: resist the urge to unroll toilet paper everywhere—it’s not a confetti party.
- Boost my efficiency—goal for the new year: cut my pants-putting-on time in half. It’s a challenge I’m ready for!
- Explore a new hobby: something solo that doesn’t require endless pieces, costs little, and keeps Mom from cleaning the TV stand.
- Master the art of aiming—food in my mouth, pee in the toilet, and puke in the bucket!
- Stop measuring my worth against others. No more toddler envy at the park!
- Embrace the seasons! Coats in winter, sunscreen in summer—got it!
- Up my fashion game: less sticky syrup in my hair, and find matching socks!
- Control my internal alarm clock that wakes me at the crack of dawn when Mom and Dad are a little bleary-eyed.
- Face my fears—be it the doctor, owls, or brushing my teeth for more than 30 seconds.
- Understand that not all envelopes are addressed to me.
- Improve my sharing skills. Maybe letting a friend borrow a plastic hot dog isn’t so bad after all.
- Ponder the big questions: where does all the trash I leave go?
- Clean up my diet—maybe, just maybe, pasta with red sauce is worth a try!
- Appreciate our nice things while resisting the urge to color on them.
- Cultivate patience—after all, if this year isn’t about the impossible, what is it about?
- Rethink my reaction to “no.” Throwing a fit didn’t work last year.
- Kick the habit of changing the dishwasher setting to rinse only—it’s not as exciting as I thought.
- Reduce unnecessary questions—like asking “why?” every five minutes.
- Work on trust—when Mom says jumping from the top bunk isn’t wise, I’ll listen.
Now, as for me, I’m starting a juice cleanse because my current diet consists primarily of almond croissants. I have a feeling this will also become my toddler’s resolution!
For more insights on family dynamics, check out our articles on parenting at Intracervical Insemination. If you’re looking for information on fertility, Make A Mom is a fantastic resource. Plus, News Medical is an excellent hub for anything related to pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, these humorous toddler resolutions reflect a longing for a bit more order and understanding in the chaotic yet delightful world of parenting.