Updated: May 10, 2016
Originally Published: Dec. 27, 2015
Let’s face it: I’m not feeling my best. And chances are, if you’re a parent, you might be in the same boat. You may not even realize that you’re grappling with a prevalent condition, but don’t worry; I’m here to shed some light on it.
Let’s rewind to 2012, shall we? It’s 8:30 AM, and I’m rocking chic, spotless attire, gearing up to grab breakfast with a friend before hitting the mall for more unnecessary clothes. Back then, I felt vibrant and put-together at this hour.
Fast forward to 2015, and my morning appearance resembles something quite different:
What’s to blame for this transformation? Well, aside from the absence of a tanning bed (I’m a recovering user), I’m experiencing what many parents do:
Parental Disorder
People with this condition often find their own appearance takes a backseat to everything else, but that’s just one of the numerous signs. Below is a list of the most typical symptoms associated with Parental Disorder. If any of these resonate with you, then it’s likely you’re dealing with the same issue. Grab some tissues and perhaps a buddy to share this with.
- You’re Clueless About ‘Netflix and Chill’
When your partner suggests “Netflix and Chill,” you enthusiastically agree. As they leap onto you in a fit of romantic desperation, you shout, “I meant just Netflix and CHILL!” With Parental Disorder, you might not know that this phrase has taken on a more risqué meaning. Apparently, your partner’s friend without kids spilled the beans, but no one thought to clue you in. - Conversations End at 8 PM
When you finally snag a babysitter and get to one of those work events, you find yourself showcasing your child’s latest school portrait to your colleagues. As boredom sets in, you glance at the clock repeatedly. By 8 PM, you realize you’d rather be home in cozy clothes, watching videos of your child on your phone. The urge to leave is so strong that you spend the next 20 minutes contemplating your exit. Spoiler alert: you leave. - Your Car is a Family Hauler
The thought of car shopping fills you with dread. Your only concern? “How many kids, car seats, and playdates can fit in here?” With Parental Disorder, it doesn’t matter if it’s a brown minivan that resembles the unfortunate mess your toddler made earlier—what matters is how many passengers it can hold! The excitement of fitting everyone in and having automatic doors is unmatched. - Your Facebook is Kid-Centric
While your childless friends are posting about vacations and home projects, your feed is flooded with pictures of your kids—always. Multiple posts a day, with hashtags like #sorrynotsorry and #cutnessoverload, dominate your social media. Your focus is solely on your adorable little ones; everything else pales in comparison. - You Await Online Sales Like Major Holidays
You circle dates like Amazon Prime Day on your calendar. The day finally arrives, and you’re let down by the selection, venting your frustrations online. “Really, Amazon? Those earbuds nobody wants? You’re not fooling anyone!” Yet somehow, a soft robe catches your eye. - Home-Cooked Meals Are Your Jam
Dining out feels like a hassle when you’re living with Parental Disorder. Why pay for a meal your toddler will just push around? A simple dinner at home is far more appealing. Who knows—if the stars align, the kids might even hit the hay early, granting you the chance to indulge in some hidden snacks. Forget the fancy steak; leftover Go-Gurt and chocolate milk sound perfect! - Your Ladies’ Night is a Chill Fest
When your friends plan a night out, you secretly wish it was a cozy get-together at home with cards and wine. Many parents prefer the comfort of oversized sweats over high heels and loud bars. You adore your friends, but a relaxed gathering sounds so much better than a night out on the town. - Coffee is Essential
No need for further explanation here—you get the picture.
If these symptoms resonate with your life, you may also be experiencing Parental Disorder. But don’t fret! Studies show that those who are affected by this condition can lead very happy and fulfilling lives. So, consider yourself #blessed.
And if you’re curious about related topics, check out this insightful post on intracervical insemination for more information. For a deeper understanding of home insemination, you might want to visit Make a Mom. Additionally, WebMD offers a wealth of resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, if you find yourself nodding along to these signs, you’re not alone. Parental Disorder is more common than you think—embrace it and enjoy the journey of parenthood.