So, you’ve just settled into your new neighborhood when your neighbor invites you to a sex toy party hosted by another resident. Just moments before, her husband had quietly expressed his shock at the invitation, questioning whether it was the best choice for welcoming new neighbors. Yet, you find yourself saying yes, all the while contemplating what just transpired.
Your unease isn’t about the nature of the event itself; it’s more about the etiquette that surrounds such gatherings, especially when you’re meeting everyone for the first time. Soon enough, you’ll be part of the same school community, so you definitely want to make a good impression. What should you wear? And what on earth would be an appropriate gift for the hostess? After a few days of contemplating and some questionable Googling, the day arrives. You settle on an outfit that strikes the right balance between casual and dressed up, hoping it fits the vibe.
As you carpool with your new neighbor to the party, excitement starts to build—could this be a fun adventure? However, once you arrive, you realize there’s no slipping in unnoticed. Your friendly neighbor is eager to introduce you to everyone, sharing your name and where you live. Suddenly, you’re at the center of attention, surrounded by an array of intriguing and somewhat daunting items displayed beneath softly flickering candles.
Soon, everyone is seated in a circle, passing around various toys that both amuse and terrify you. You clutch your glass of red wine, trying to maintain some semblance of composure. But as you gingerly handle a bizarre pink contraption that resembles something out of a horror film, you begin to panic about the impending “shopping time.”
At weddings, the couple’s website and venue help you gauge how much cash to include in a gift. But at a sex toy party, where you’re meeting the host for the first time, how do you know what to spend? The cheese and crackers were delightful, but the wine was subpar, and the fruit platter was nice yet lacking in desserts. What does that mean for your contribution? Is a cheeky item like cinnamon-flavored body dust appropriate, or should you invest in something a bit more, shall we say, adventurous?
The pressure mounts. You want to make a memorable first impression on the women who could be your friends for years to come. Ideally, you want to choose something that seems fun without being too risqué. As the hostesses would certainly appreciate a generous purchase, this isn’t the same as a cosmetics party where you can stock up on gifts for family.
Sipping more wine, you glance at your inviting neighbor, who seems just as eager for a way out as you are. You decide to take a chance and jokingly ask her, “What’s the right thing to buy that won’t make me seem like a total prude or a freak?” She laughs and gives you a number to aim for, so when it’s your turn to shop, you pick the most innocuous items you can find within that budget and rush back to your new friend, eager to escape this sticky situation.
By the end of the night, although slightly tipsy, you feel accomplished. You’ve made a new friend, and you’re confident you made a tasteful purchase, not straying too far into the outrageous. Plus, you now have some amusing stories to share with your partner.
Little do you know, just a week later, the hostess will approach you in the street with a brown paper bag, winking conspiratorially, right in front of neighbors who are all too aware of what she sells. But that’s a tale for another time.
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Summary
Attending a sex toy party for the first time can be intimidating, especially when meeting new neighbors. Balancing the desire to make a good impression with the anxiety of selecting appropriate items can be challenging. However, embracing humor and camaraderie can turn an awkward situation into a memorable experience, leading to new friendships and amusing stories.