Picture this: a sunny day at the park, and I’m watching my 3-year-old, Max, confidently scaling a 6-foot metal ladder. Suddenly, a woman nearby gasps, arms raised as if she’s about to catch him. “Do you know whose child that is?” she asks, her voice tinged with panic.
“He’s mine,” I reply, trying to sound calm. “He’s been climbing like that since he was 2.” She stares at me in disbelief. And just like that, I realize I’m up against a hoverer—one of those parents who can’t help but judge from the sidelines, ready to swoop in the moment they see a child in potential peril.
It seems there are two types of parents at the park. I frequently bring my kids to this haven for a variety of reasons: socializing, letting them learn to negotiate their surroundings, and simply allowing them the freedom to be kids. While I chat with fellow parents from a distance, the kids are busy testing their limits: Can I climb this? Can I swing that? If they fall, they learn to get back up.
But then there are the hoverers. They’re not content to just watch; they’re there to engage in every aspect of their child’s playtime, often at the expense of letting kids explore on their own. These parents are right there, guiding every small step, whether it’s helping their child up the slide or catching them before they even stumble. They adhere strictly to every safety guideline, and, unfortunately, this over-cautiousness can ruin the fun for everyone else.
The scenario often unfolds like this: I’m seated at a picnic table with my like-minded mama friends, perhaps sharing a laugh or two. Suddenly, one of our kids attempts to tackle a challenge just a bit too demanding for them. “Where’s your mommy?” the hovering parent chimes in, as if my child is lost in a sea of danger. It usually results in me having to get up to supervise, because if they can’t climb up on their own, how will they learn to navigate down?
These hoverers are the same parents who seem to take it upon themselves to enforce the unwritten rules of the playground. “No climbing up the slide!” they shout, even though a child’s exploration is often half the fun. And heaven forbid a child should get dirty—what a terrible example that would set for their precious little one.
I don’t take my kids to the park to micromanage their every move. I want them to experience a bit of freedom, to figure out their own capacities. When another parent steps in, judging or intervening, it can dampen the spirit of exploration.
So, to all the hovering parents out there, the next time you feel the urge to intervene, consider joining us on the bench instead. It might just be more enjoyable for both you and your child. Who knows, maybe they’ll discover new friends and enjoy the thrill of getting a little dirty.
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In summary, while we all want the best for our children, finding a balance between engagement and allowing them to explore independently is essential. Encouraging kids to take risks and learn from their experiences not only fosters growth but also creates a more enjoyable environment for all.