Showering: The Mom Version

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As mothers, we often trade in many of the simple pleasures we once enjoyed. It’s a reality we accept. Those leisurely Sundays in our cozy robes, savoring coffee while diving into a captivating book? Gone. The carefree brunches filled with mimosas and laughter with friends—where we weren’t glued to our phones waiting for texts like, “If our toddler falls and needs stitches, what’s the plan? Also, where did you stash the Band-Aids?” Yep, those days are behind us. The reality is that once we welcome a child into our lives, many of those self-indulgent moments disappear. But one thing that remains essential? Our showers. Yes, those precious 15 minutes we need for cleanliness—both physically and mentally.

What Showers Used to Be Like Before Kids

• Start by cranking up the hot water while checking your skin in the mirror.
• A few drops of lavender essential oil? No wait, eucalyptus feels right today.
• Disrobe and take a moment to assess your body in the mirror, wishing you weren’t so “fluffy” (if only you could see yourself now!).
• Step into the shower.
• Begin with a foot pumice to scrub away the dead skin using a peppermint foot scrub you lovingly created during a quiet afternoon.
• Next, it’s lather time! Use a loofah for most areas, but don’t forget the exfoliating glove for those stubborn rough patches on your arms.
• Time for the hair—shampoo it twice! First, with a purple shampoo to keep your blonde vibrant, followed by a rich, hydrating formula. Rinse, repeat.
• Apply your conditioner and let it sit (at least 7 minutes is a must!).
• Shave everything—yes, even that soft fuzz on your big toe. No one wants to be caught off-guard!
• Treat yourself to a deep pore cleansing steam facial. Cleanser, Clarisonic, scrub, hydrating masque—rinse and repeat as needed.
• Finally, step out of the shower.
• You’ll need two towels: one for your hair, perfectly wrapped, and the other for your body.
• Dry off, but don’t go completely dry! Apply body cream on slightly damp skin for better absorption.
• Moisturize thoroughly—start with your face, then move to your body and finish with hair products.
• Slip into a cozy robe, freshly warmed by your partner, enveloping your hydrated skin in comfort!

What Showers Look Like After Becoming a Mom

• Sneak into the bathroom after putting your baby down for a nap—this is your moment.
• Step into the shower, only to discover the water is ice cold. But time is short, so you dive in anyway.
• Bring your toothbrush along! Brush your teeth while lathering soap into your other hand.
• Uh-oh, the soap ran out. Time to improvise with shampoo!
• Clean as much of your body as possible while multitasking with the toothbrush.
• Finally, the water warms up!
• Turn off the water and exit the shower.
• Snatch up the wet towel your partner left on the floor. Dry off quickly.
• Slip into yesterday’s yoga pants and a comfy tee!

So, the next time you find yourself in line behind a perfectly polished, childless woman who seems to have it all together, just smile. Remember, you were once in her shoes, but the title of “Mom” brings a fulfillment that far surpasses any job title. One day, she might be standing in the same line, wondering how she went from high heels to “Oops, I’m still in my slippers.”

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Summary

This article humorously contrasts the pre- and post-motherhood shower experiences, highlighting the changes in self-care rituals and the multitasking that becomes second nature to moms. It emphasizes the rewarding aspects of motherhood while acknowledging the loss of personal time and self-indulgence.