For five years, I’ve been the proud parent of an only child. Back in my carefree days, I always imagined having at least two kids. Growing up with siblings—despite a few hair-raising moments (literally, thanks to an electric shoe shiner incident with my brother)—I cherished those relationships. Naturally, I wanted my children to experience that same bond. However, life has a way of altering plans, and for a significant time, it seemed my son would remain an only child. But, as you might have noticed, circumstances are shifting.
As I transition from being a parent of one to potentially having more, I want to take a moment to reflect on my experiences and make a promise to fellow parents raising an only child.
My Promises
I vow not to act as if I’m superior to you. Parenting one child can be equally challenging, and I promise to avoid condescending remarks like, “Just wait until you have more!” or “You have no idea what’s coming!” I will never imply that your parenting is any less valid because you have one child.
I also pledge not to be a martyr. If I do choose to have another child, I will remind myself that it was my decision, and I won’t project my stress onto you. Should I ever slip and express envy over your single-child lifestyle or reminisce about the ease of managing one child, I will catch myself.
Moreover, I promise not to show my emotional struggles in front of you. I won’t ask when you plan to have another child, nor will I question why you haven’t. I will refrain from mentioning “completing” my family or suggesting you try for a different gender. I will never question whether your only child is lonely or if they are spoiled.
I assure you that I will never assume that you’re any less of a parent than I am or that you have it easier because our situations differ. The reality is that every parent faces unique challenges, regardless of the number of children they have.
A Call for Support
To all parents, let’s remember that parenting is a communal journey, not a competition. We might not always agree, but we can support one another. After all, it’s our children who truly test our patience and resolve.
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In summary, parenting is hard, but we can uplift one another rather than judge. Let’s focus on supporting each other, no matter how many children we have.