The internet often shouts that perfection isn’t necessary. They urge us to ditch the competitive spirit and put an end to the Mommy Wars. Just say no to Pinterest, they say… You can’t scroll for long without encountering calls to stop comparing ourselves as parents. I wholeheartedly agree. We should embrace the idea of “good enough.” It’s time to ease off the judgement towards other families and their choices and, more importantly, towards ourselves.
However, here’s the thing—sometimes I genuinely enjoy creating things. This doesn’t mean I’m striving for perfection or trying to make life harder for other parents. There seems to be a common misconception that mothers who engage in handmade or homemade projects are on a quest for perfection. They often become the scapegoats for every anti-Pinterest critique, as if our crafting enthusiasm is to blame for the challenges of modern parenting.
I want to advocate for all the mothers out there, because, from my perspective, that’s not the full story. I love cooking. I have an eye for aesthetics, a knack for organization, and I revel in the chance to declutter. Fashion, hair, and makeup have always intrigued me, and I adore a good party theme.
Whether it’s crafting homemade Valentine cards, designing Halloween costumes, or whipping up healthy meals, I do it with joy. I even put on mascara every day because that’s an aspect of who I am.
There are many things I choose not to do. I don’t scrapbook or take endless photos. Baking isn’t my thing, and I’m not the school volunteer type. My bathrooms don’t always get the thorough scrubbing they deserve, and my kids might not be signed up for every extracurricular activity under the sun.
But when I decide to create an Egyptian-themed birthday cake, complete with graham cracker “desert sand,” it’s not to make anyone feel inadequate. I don’t do it to elevate myself above others or instill envy in their children.
When you ask me, “You made that?” with a tone that suggests disbelief, it stings. I’m not aiming for perfection or trying to make you feel bad. Frankly, I don’t even do it for my kids. I do it for me.
You might think it’s sad that I cling to these creative endeavors, but I have my reasons. Amidst the routine and repetitiveness of parenting, I long for moments of joy, for avenues of creative expression. Whether it’s a birthday cake, a new eyeliner, or an organizational system, those are my outlets.
Am I misdirecting my energy? That isn’t for you to judge. I’m not trying to pressure anyone into being the “perfect” parent, nor am I seeking a feature in a glossy magazine. I’m simply searching for pieces of myself in a world that feels increasingly unfamiliar.
I don’t engage in these activities to prove I love my kids more or to achieve some unrealistic ideal. Instead, I cling to what brings me joy, helping me navigate the challenges of parenthood.
You might not understand my choices, and that’s okay. I’ve made sacrifices in my parenting role—why should I also abandon the things that define me simply to avoid making you uncomfortable?
The issue isn’t Pinterest; it’s not about the homemade versus the store-bought. The real problem is that we’ve lost sight of ourselves. Our identities as mothers can overshadow who we truly are. We’re all navigating through this, trying to find our own formula for balance.
The only way to find our way back is to be as authentic as possible, even if that means making creative lunch box designs that draw ire from other moms. When I catch myself rolling my eyes at someone else’s creativity and thinking, “That’s just silly—why waste time on that?” I remind myself that it’s not my place to critique.
Because sometimes, I enjoy making things, too.
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In summary, we all navigate parenting in our own ways. Embracing what makes us happy, whether it’s creating or simply expressing ourselves, is essential. Let’s support each other in finding joy, rather than critiquing the paths we choose.