16 Valuable Lessons for My Daughters as They Transition into Their Tweens

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As we nurture our little ones with cuddles and comfort, we prepare them for life’s adventures. Before they reach their first birthday, we find ourselves making excuses to avoid the mushy food they so generously offer, returning their tiny spoons that mysteriously land on the floor. As they grow older, attend school, forge friendships, and push boundaries, we strive to impart wisdom gleaned from our own missteps. While this is not an exhaustive list of everything I’d like to share with my daughters as they approach their tween years, here are 16 key insights I hope they will reflect on as they evolve into young women:

1. Fast food isn’t the only option. With just a few ingredients and a sprinkle of enthusiasm, you can whip up delicious meals from scratch—like creamy whipped cream that takes just three ingredients and five minutes. It’s well worth it, especially when paired with warm, homemade chocolate chip pancakes for dinner. (Though, when the day is long, sometimes a quick box of mac and cheese will do—just remember to toss in some peas to keep Grandmom happy.)
2. Those overly cheerful faces you see in ads and commercials are getting paid to look that way. If you don’t actually need what they’re selling—and honestly, you probably don’t—there’s no need to want or buy it.
3. Whether I’m in the shower after a workout, glued to a soccer match, or catching some sleep on a weekend morning, your thoughts and feelings will always come first. Everything else can wait—unless you wake me up to say you’re hungry; then we might have a problem.
4. A stable job may help pay the bills, but if it doesn’t spark joy, feel free to change your path and follow what makes you happy.
5. While your heart can lead you astray at times, pursuing your passions is always worth it.
6. You will meet unkind people as you journey through life, but remember they are the exception, not the norm. Try not to judge everyone based on the actions of a few.
7. The good in the world always outweighs the bad, despite what the media may portray.
8. Strive to make life easier for others. This includes being courteous to servers, leaving hotel rooms tidy, and returning your shopping cart. Seriously, walk those 30 feet!
9. Small gestures can have a significant impact, and every little action contributes to the world around us.
10. Your love for reading will open many doors, but it’s perfectly fine to enjoy the film adaptations of your favorite books (even if you secretly believe the book is better).
11. College will always be there, but your youth is a fleeting opportunity. Please don’t run off with some guy to “find yourself”—I’ve invested too much in your upbringing to see you follow such a cliché.
12. You don’t need alcohol to be cool, relaxed, or interesting. Your personality shines bright on its own.
13. If people are spending time gossiping about you, it simply means you’re far more intriguing than they are.
14. You can be just as passionate about sports as any boy, and there’s no need to don a pink version of your favorite team’s gear.
15. Sports, science, math, engineering, and even action movies and comic books aren’t just for boys, even if it sometimes seems that way.
16. If there’s something you love and want to be a part of, don’t hesitate to make your presence known. Elbow your way in, darling!

In truth, there are likely hundreds of other lessons I wish to impart as my daughters navigate their journey into adulthood. They will soon realize the unique challenges and triumphs of being a young woman today. There are still battles to fight, from the lack of female representation in toys to the harassment many face. Yet, I encourage them to remember that the good in the world prevails, and this belief is something we will hold onto together.

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Summary

This article presents 16 essential lessons for daughters transitioning into their tween years, focusing on self-worth, kindness, and the importance of pursuing passions. It emphasizes that while the world has its challenges, the good will always prevail.