As the New Year approaches, I find myself yearning for a break from the relentless cycle of pumping. My little one is about to turn one, and despite my efforts, he never quite figured out how to nurse directly. Instead, he was more adept at gnawing on my breast as if it were a gourmet sandwich. To spare myself from further discomfort and save on formula expenses, I committed to exclusively pumping, which turned out to be both a blessing and a curse due to my surprisingly plentiful milk supply.
While friends with low milk production often congratulated me on my “bounty,” they also sympathized with the hassle of being tethered to a pump multiple times a day. Yes, I could feed my baby, my toddler (who was thrilled about the return of Mommy’s milk supply), and even donate extra milk, but there are some notable downsides to pumping out the equivalent of eight grande-sized lattes daily:
1. Constant Hunger and Thirst
I embraced my love for rich foods like butter and cream without worrying too much about my weight, but keeping my energy up required constant snacking and a vigilant approach to hydration. This took time, added to my grocery bill, and surprisingly didn’t lead to speedy weight loss. Skipping meals or neglecting to hydrate resulted in dizzy spells and fatigue, forcing me to rest until I replenished my body with enough food and fluids.
2. Frequent Blocked Ducts
I eventually ditched my bra because even a well-fitted one caused too much pressure, leading to painful lumps and fever from clogged ducts. Even with precautions like taking lecithin, I still faced a blockage about every six weeks, which was both uncomfortable and frustrating.
3. Reliance on Machinery
With a large supply, I was dependent on my pump for relief every few hours. Unlike breastfeeding moms who can nurse on the go, I had to plan outings carefully, ensuring I had access to a power source or a reliable battery pack. The thought of being stranded without a means to pump was anxiety-inducing, and power outages at home only added to my stress.
4. Interrupted Sleep Patterns
In the early days, it was wonderful to hand a bottle to my partner and catch up on sleep. However, as time passed, I found myself waking at odd hours to pump, often taking an hour just to relieve the pressure. If my baby or toddler woke up at a different time than I was scheduled to pump, it meant I had to go to bed at odd hours to avoid even more disruptions.
5. Changes to Your Body
While this is common for many nursing moms, it was disheartening to witness the changes in my breasts due to constant engorgement. After over two decades of having them for more than just feeding, I longed for their original state. I cherished the idea of having my body back to its previous form, beyond just being a milk factory.
6. Guilt Over Transitioning
With so much emphasis on the benefits of breastmilk, it’s hard to shake off the guilt when thinking about switching to formula. The pressure to continue pumping while knowing the perks of breastmilk is overwhelming. But I’ve come to realize that prioritizing my well-being is essential for being the best mom I can be. My child will not suffer from a switch to cow’s milk, especially when it means I can engage more fully with him.
As I reflect on my pumping journey, I recognize that my body has served both my child and me, and now it’s time to reclaim my autonomy. With my baby growing and becoming more independent, I feel ready to step away from the pump and embrace a new chapter in our lives.
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Summary
An abundant milk supply comes with its own set of challenges, including constant hunger, reliance on pumping equipment, and changes to one’s body. While many mothers face guilt about stopping, prioritizing well-being can lead to a more fulfilling parenting experience.