Recently, while driving, a young boy in the backseat of my minivan enthusiastically pleaded with his mom to let him come over to our house “because they have an XBox!” We shared a laugh, and although she declined this time, I couldn’t help but smile. My plan is gradually unfolding.
When children visit my home, they can dive into hours of fun playing games like Minecraft or Lego Star Wars in the playroom. On sunny days, I encourage them to head outside, where they can practice parkour by leaping off the deck steps or take sleds down the slide of our playset. Whenever they ask for snacks or juice, my answer is always a resounding yes. I let minor potty humor and silly jokes slide, with “booger” being a favorite among the kids.
Of course, we do have some rules. My son must take off his glasses during pillow fights, and my 2-year-old daughter is off-limits when it comes to roughhousing. Nerf guns are strictly for targeting inanimate objects, never people or pets. Above all, kindness is a must.
As my daughter grows, I plan to expand these activities. Her play tent will be filled with Barbies, American Girl dolls, or superheroes, depending on her friends’ preferences. The kinetic sand she loves will always be available, and I’ll happily indulge any young guests who want to experiment with play makeup or belt out tunes on a karaoke machine. Unkindness will not be tolerated either.
Why do I embrace this seemingly permissive approach? Well, the truth is, I’m not as lenient as it seems. There are thoughtful boundaries in place. While Minecraft is welcome, Call of Duty is not. Video games are approved as long as they involve two players collaborating, but silent movie-watching is out. Internet access is prohibited, and snacks lean towards healthier options, occasionally mixed with treats like Hershey kisses or popcorn. My aim is to create a joyful sanctuary without it becoming a chaotic free-for-all.
So, you might wonder, why am I so keen on having lots of kids around?
One day, these children will transition from being 6 and 7-year-olds to teenagers with cars and newfound freedoms. They will want to express themselves—swearing, listening to their music, and enjoying their games. I want them to feel comfortable doing all that here. By building these relationships now, I can offer them a safe space as they grow older. I envision having the latest gaming systems, a big TV, a pool table, and even room for musical instruments. I’ll eventually allow computer access, albeit with parental controls that they understand. There will still be rules, but they will be reasonable, emphasizing kindness above all.
They’ll be able to enjoy Madden football but not Grand Theft Auto. Music will be welcome, and I’ll engage them in discussions about lyrics and their meanings. Movie nights will come, as will the Internet—but with guidelines. While they can have snacks, they’ll also be expected to clean up after themselves. Swearing will be allowed, but hate speech will be met with immediate discussion and education about why it’s unacceptable in my home.
I’ll even have birth control available and will be open about it. I want to foster an environment where teens feel safe to use contraception when needed. I won’t keep secrets that shouldn’t be kept, but I also won’t be a full-on narc to other parents. Every kid who visits will know when I plan to share information with their parents.
Ultimately, I want my children—and yours—nearby. I can provide a safe environment where they have the freedom to explore while still maintaining some structure. I understand that not every parent will appreciate a setting where pizza is plentiful and the language can get colorful, but those are the offerings I provide in exchange for their trust and the privilege of having them in my home.
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In summary, my home is designed to be a welcoming and fun space for kids, balancing freedom with safety, to create lasting bonds that will serve them well as they transition into adolescence and beyond.