It was our first date night since our little one arrived just 12 days earlier. After a delightful dinner, we swung by the store for baby supplies while our son peacefully slept in his car seat, and the other five kids were hopefully asleep at home with a sitter.
As we neared the checkout, an older woman rolled up with her grandchild in the cart, babbling in a language only babies speak. Her husband trailed behind, and as I lifted the car seat cover to peek at our baby, she exclaimed, “Oh my goodness! You have a brand new baby!”
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, trying to keep the conversation light while my husband completed the payment. Just as I turned to grab our bags, her husband chimed in, “Looks like she’s got another one on the way!” He was clearly proud of his observation.
I could have sworn I heard her mumble, “Uh-oh,” as my husband and I exchanged glances, stifling our laughter until we reached the parking lot. We chuckled all the way home.
The following day, just 13 days postpartum, we stopped at a place my husband frequents for oil changes, where they do it all while you stay in the car. It’s a stress-free setup—no kids to unbuckle or keep from darting into traffic.
The attendant, familiar with my husband, waved him off, casually saying, “See you soon, man,” then turned to me and added, “Not you, I guess. I’ll see you after.” My husband rolled up the window, and I fought back laughter until he asked the question on my mind: “After what?”
Some people really lack awareness.
But let’s not let the guys take all the heat. I recall a woman we met at the park just a week after I delivered twins three years ago. Our twins were premature, so they remained in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) for a bit. Meanwhile, we took our other boys to the park to celebrate one of their upcoming birthdays.
As they played, I struck up a conversation with another mom who commented on my all-boy family. Soon enough, she gestured at my postpartum belly and asked, “Is this one a girl?”
Laughing, I responded, “Oh, no! I just had twin boys six days ago, and they’re currently in the NICU.” She nodded, seemingly understanding, but then asked, “So, when are they due?”
I had to explain again, and she left, apologizing profusely as she hurried away.
Years ago, when my first baby was born and I was still grappling with body image issues, comments like these would have stung. But now, I embrace the truth: A woman’s body undergoes an incredible transformation during pregnancy. After giving birth, it doesn’t just snap back into shape overnight.
The uterus nurtures a new life for nine months, so it needs time to return to its previous form. It doesn’t happen in a day, a week, or even three. For a while, we might still sport a small bump that could easily be mistaken for pregnancy.
So when can you assume a woman is expecting?
The answer is simple: Never. However, if you’re feeling adventurous and want to take a shot, here are some clues that might help:
- She doesn’t have a newborn with her.
- She explicitly tells you she’s expecting.
- She mentions that she just gave birth.
If you’ve checked all those boxes, there’s one more crucial sign to consider:
- If her belly resembles an oversized basketball, and she’s waddling in a way that screams, “I’m due today!”
In all other cases, it’s best to keep your thoughts to yourself. Better safe than sorry.
For more insights on this topic, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re interested in exploring fertility journeys, you can visit this site for valuable information. Also, be sure to read our other blog post for additional perspectives on this journey.
In summary, understanding the changes a woman’s body goes through during and after pregnancy is vital. Instead of jumping to conclusions, let’s approach the topic with kindness and awareness.