Letter to a Young Feminist by Jamie Rivers

Dear sweet daughter,

I’ve noticed that you’ve decided to call your toy doll “Lipstick” for the second time this week. I think it’s time for a little change. While you can name your bear Chapstick if you want, this Lipstick trend needs to come to an end. And remember, please do not borrow my makeup brushes to use as your keys while I’m busy making dinner.

Your time to explore makeup will come, but until then, I have a few important things to share with you:

Be Your Own Character

As Halloween approached last October, I felt a sense of pride that you wanted to dress as Peter Pan, especially since many girls in your class chose to be Elsa. I know that Peter Pan has its flaws and outdated stereotypes, but the character embodies creativity and charm. I wasn’t overly worried about you adopting the qualities of a whimsical, if irresponsible, character at just 4 years old.

However, on Halloween morning, you surprised me by insisting on being “Headband Girl.” I was a bit confused at first and tried to steer you back to Peter Pan, but your determination shone through. You donned several headbands, including one you made, and a vibrant cape, and off you went. When you explained that the rope in your pocket was for rescuing people, I realized you were creating your own superhero. At that moment, I felt a wave of pride—maybe you were the visionary here, reminding me that empowerment comes in many forms.

Everyone Can Shine

I know I might sound contradictory, but think deeply about this: every person, especially every woman, has the potential to be strong and inspiring. Just because you want to be Elsa doesn’t mean someone else can’t too. There’s plenty of room for many Elsas in this world. Embrace that. As you’ve seen in Frozen, society often pressures us to hide our strengths. Don’t fall into that trap. Celebrate your power with others, especially with other women. The world needs to see powerful women standing together. Make that a reality.

You Don’t Have to Change

As for princesses, I understand your fascination with Ariel. Mermaids are enchanting, effortlessly exploring the ocean’s depths—something we can only dream of. Ariel’s singing is alluring, and I know your teachers encourage you to sing as well. The idea of a singing mermaid must be captivating, especially since you’re being prompted to shine in that area.

But remember, my dear, you don’t have to give up your true self to achieve your dreams. There are times when we must compromise, but that should never come at the expense of who you are. Keep your unique sparkle. Happiness should never mean abandoning your essence.

The Lipstick Reminder

I often get sidetracked by my feminist thoughts, so let’s return to the Lipstick. You’ve been puckering up and asking, “Do I look beautiful?” While I want you to know that you always look beautiful, it’s not the lip gloss that makes you shine; it’s the light in your eyes. That’s your true magic. You’re 4, vibrant, and extraordinary.

Keep marching forward, my beloved daughter.

Love,
Mom

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Summary

In this heartfelt letter, Jamie Rivers shares wisdom with her daughter about self-identity, empowerment, and the importance of staying true to oneself. She encourages her daughter to embrace her uniqueness while also acknowledging the significance of camaraderie among women. The message is clear: beauty comes from within, and happiness should never require sacrificing one’s identity.