Hey there, I realize we’ve never exchanged greetings like I do with the moms during drop-off. It’s just that I’m not in the habit of saying hi to unfamiliar men. Honestly, look at me—my hair is a chaotic mess, I have dark circles under my eyes, and I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet. I wouldn’t want to give the wrong impression.
But I want you to know that I notice you. I see you each morning, carrying that cheerful pink backpack and ensuring she gets to school on time. I hear you gently reminding her to tuck her chilly hands into her pockets, and it makes me smile because I’ve said the same to my son. I watch you apply chapstick to her lips and ask for a kiss before sending her off into the world. You promise her that you’ll be there to pick her up after school, and when she walks away, you don’t just turn and leave—you stay and watch her until she’s safely inside, your heart walking alongside her. Once she’s in, you turn back home, left with your thoughts.
I often wonder what you do after drop-off. Do you have a thriving business from home? Do you brave rush hour traffic to get to your office? Are you on the hunt for fun after-school snacks or doing the grocery shopping? Do you tidy up, wash the breakfast dishes, or start a load of laundry? Or maybe you take a moment for yourself, scrolling through social media with a warm cup of coffee?
I’m curious if you find it challenging being a dad in a world that often seems geared toward women. Are there dad meet-ups at the park? Do the moms include you in their conversations? Are there “Dads’ Day Out” events at your church? Have you ever been invited to a DOPs group? When you’re out shopping, do you ever change your baby’s diaper on a restroom floor if there’s no changing table? Do you find yourself worrying about your career prospects as a stay-at-home dad?
I don’t ask because it’s not my place, and to be honest, I wouldn’t want to subject you to my morning breath!
But I do recognize that society tries to convince us that we’re different. While I’m expected to be the nurturing parent, I can see the joy in your daughter’s eyes when she looks at you. I know you’re just as capable as any woman when it comes to making her feel cherished. I notice your wedding band and wonder if your wife is the primary breadwinner—she’s just as competent as any man in the workplace, equally assertive and driven.
You may be bigger and stronger, yet you also read bedtime stories with a gentle touch. I might be softer and leaner, but the kids know they need to be upstairs by the time I count to fifteen, or else!
As a woman, I don’t always feel like the perfect mom I imagined I would be. Do you sometimes question if you’re fulfilling your role as a man by being your child’s main caregiver? Is this fatherhood experience what you envisioned?
We may never have a deep conversation about these topics before the school bell rings, but please know this: I see you. I appreciate you. And I know that little girl adores her daddy.
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Summary:
This letter acknowledges the often-overlooked presence of fathers during school drop-off. It highlights the love and care dads provide while challenging societal norms that suggest men and women have different parenting roles. The author expresses appreciation for the unique bond between fathers and daughters and emphasizes the importance of recognizing the contributions of dads in parenting.