The third trimester can feel like a rollercoaster ride—full of ups, downs, and a bit of chaos. Having gone through this phase a few times, I’ve compiled a list of amusing signs that you’re deep in the third trimester that you won’t find in traditional pregnancy guides. So, grab a comfy seat and let’s dive into the fun!
- You start offering your partner bribes to help with your toenails—clip and paint, please!
- Your kids become your sock-putting-on champions, and you’re not ashamed to admit it.
- Upon entering a public restroom, your first thought is to locate the nearest toilet, followed by a mental sprint to get there with your swollen feet.
- Strangers tend to fixate on your belly first, then your eyes, before returning their gaze to your bump.
- Prepare for a barrage of unsolicited comments from well-meaning strangers, such as:
- “Are you having twins?”
- “Looks like you’re ready to pop!”
- “When’s your due date? My aunt’s birthday is just after that!”
- And the classic, “I hope you don’t have what I think you have!”
- You seriously consider wearing a sign that says, “I’m feeling great! Due date: ____, Baby’s gender: ____, Baby number: ____. Thanks for not asking!”
- You could probably pee in a cup while blindfolded—while carrying a toddler on your back and opening a snack!
- You regret taking the stairs at your OB appointment, feeling like a contestant from a weight loss reality show.
- Your 4-year-old thinks it’s time for you to jump back into those workout videos you abandoned long ago.
- Your idea of exercise now involves trips to the fridge and bending to pick up toys, and you start questioning why you ever wanted kids in the first place.
- Your wardrobe choices are dwindling; you’re down to just two shirts that fit, both with strange elastic sides.
- One shirt is for special occasions (like doctor visits), and the other is your go-to for everyday wear, which you’re starting to loathe.
- You find yourself calling your grandma for advice on what undergarments to buy.
- Remember that cute maternity swimsuit you snagged last year? You’re starting to regret it as you resemble a certain aquatic theme park character.
- The local pool seems to have a splashing zone just for you.
- You’ve come to appreciate the belly panel pants you once thought were ridiculous; now, anything without them feels unwearable.
- You’re already planning a bonfire for your maternity clothes the moment the baby arrives.
- Your kids read a story about an alligator swallowing a watermelon seed and are convinced you’ve done the same.
- You wake up several times a night—once or twice to pee, once or twice for leg cramps, and at least once for a midnight snack of Doritos.
- Getting out of bed multiple times a night should come with a medal; you contemplate using a pole vault for assistance.
- Naps? They are now the highlight of your day.
- During your weekly OB visits, the nurses greet you like an old friend, asking, “Oh, you again! Where’s your Cup-O-Pee?”
- You secretly hope your doctor takes their time arriving so you can sneak in a little nap.
- Did your water break? Nope, just a sneeze!
- Was that a contraction? No, just the 3 a.m. Doritos talking.
- You notice a new chin sprouting each week leading up to your due date.
- Your fingers look like plump sausages, and it’s time to remove those rings while you still can.
- You realize you’ve got a built-in snack table and reading stand; too bad your shirts are now covered in stains.
- You start questioning why your electric bill is skyrocketing. Wait, is it hot in here? Time to blast that A/C!
- Finally, you find yourself dreaming of a luxurious mini-vacation with all the pampering—just don’t forget to pack some essentials like Dermoplast and Tucks wipes!
In conclusion, the third trimester is a blend of humor and chaos, filled with unique experiences you won’t want to forget. Embrace every moment and check out resources like Women’s Health for more on pregnancy and home insemination. Don’t forget to explore Make a Mom for great products, and for more tips, visit our other post here.