There’s no denying it—my daughter seems to have a special bond with her mother. Yup, she’s definitely more of a mommy’s girl. I get that it’s typical for young children to gravitate toward their moms, especially after spending nearly a year in the womb and then relying on them for nourishment. At just under two years old, I’m not overly worried about her growing up to be a psycho like Norman Bates.
Still, even if I understand why she favors Mom, it can sting sometimes. Yet, there’s a silver lining to this dynamic.
Parenting is undeniably a collaborative effort. Kids flourish when both parents are involved, particularly during the chaotic toddler years. They need adult supervision for practically everything. If one parent is left to shoulder all the responsibilities, things can go south quickly. Thankfully, my partner and I have each other to help share the joys and challenges of raising our little one.
In our daily routine, we alternate responsibilities. One morning, I might be the one to wake up with her, even if she’s crying for Mom (which happens daily). The next day, it’ll be Mom’s turn, even if she gets a token “Daddy” cry as a consolation. We take turns with diaper changes, baths, and bedtime stories. It’s a system that keeps us both engaged and balances the workload.
However, as she grows and her ability to communicate improves, she sometimes insists on only one parent for certain tasks, like brushing her teeth. More often than not, that lucky parent is Mom. When I try to pick her up for our bedtime routine only to be met with a scream and a dash away from me, it definitely hurts my feelings.
But here’s the upside: I get some well-deserved downtime. If she prefers Mom for the bedtime routine, I can kick back and enjoy a game or crack open a cold drink without a crying child in sight. If I’m not the preferred parent tonight, that’s fine; I’ll just take a moment to relax while Mom handles the fuss. Sure, my ego might take a hit, but who doesn’t love a little peace and quiet?
You might think that this arrangement could frustrate my partner, and it does at times. However, we both recognize that these phases are temporary. There will be nights when only I will be able to comfort her, read her stories, or even carry her to bed. At that point, my partner can take a breather with a glass of wine, appreciating the rare moment of peace.
For now, we balance our roles. I manage my momentary feelings of rejection while relishing the free time, and she embraces the extra affection, knowing it’s a phase that will eventually shift. In the grand scheme of parenting, we’re a team, navigating the ups and downs together. If we can just hang in there for another decade or so, we’ll eventually reach a point where our little girl won’t have a favorite parent. Instead, she’ll find ways to equally annoy us both!
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Summary
In the journey of parenthood, it’s common for young children to favor one parent over the other. While this can be hurtful, it often provides an opportunity for the other parent to enjoy some much-needed downtime. As parents, it’s essential to balance responsibilities and embrace the phases of parenting, knowing that these dynamics will evolve over time. Ultimately, teamwork and understanding are key to thriving in the often chaotic world of raising kids.