When Intimacy Took a Backseat, My Partner Had My Back

self insemination kit

I had a vision. I wanted to share how a healthy sex life could strengthen a marriage. I planned to outline all the reasons I was eager to connect with my partner, believing that more intimacy would lead to greater happiness, increased support around the house, and a nostalgic view of our earlier days when everything felt simpler.

“He becomes so much more attentive when our physical connection is strong,” I intended to argue. “It’s science, right?”

Our routine was solid, with intimacy every other day. We pretended it was spontaneous because planning it felt mundane. It was like saying, “Oh, what a coincidence! We both ended up in bed, naked, exactly 48 hours after our last encounter!”

But then, life threw a curveball. Not just the typical challenges like pregnancy or the chaos of parenting, but serious upheaval: illness, job transitions, and emotional upheaval that felt as intense as an earthquake.

During such stress, I tend to shut down. My body reacts with skin flare-ups, tonsil canker sores, and irregular menstrual cycles, which is ironic since I’m not supposed to have them anymore after a uterine ablation. My body had a mind of its own.

Despite knowing the importance of prioritizing intimacy for the sake of my marriage—as well as my children and my own well-being—it quickly fell to the bottom of my list when life got overwhelming. And when I say “quickly fell,” I mean it dropped like a stone.

In moments of crisis, sex isn’t on my radar. Neither is basic self-care.

I braced myself for the unraveling of my marriage. I expected my partner to become frustrated with me, to see tension creep in, or for resentment to fester. But none of that happened.

Instead, he offered gentle support. He massaged my shoulders, brought me coffee, and embraced me even when I lacked the energy to reciprocate. He listened while I vented my fears without trying to find solutions, helping me in countless, quiet ways when I couldn’t voice my needs.

He took charge of the kids when I needed a moment alone, managed phone calls, and handled everything else that felt overwhelming. He ordered takeout and stepped up without expecting anything in return.

I had always believed that a robust sex life was the cornerstone of our successful marriage, but I was mistaken. The real foundation is an attitude of service and love. I came to realize just how deeply my partner cares for me when he took on the burden of caring for me.

And yes, all those intimate moments in the past have surely paid off.

If you’re interested in exploring more about the journey of parenthood and intimacy, check out our other blog posts, including this one on home insemination. For those looking to enhance their fertility journey, resources like Make a Mom can provide valuable insights. Additionally, Healthline offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.

Summary

Life’s unexpected challenges can shift priorities, and during tough times, intimacy may take a backseat. However, the true strength of a marriage lies in unwavering support and understanding. It’s essential to recognize love in action, especially when life becomes overwhelming.