We all have that one friend who constantly needs an explanation. “He’s not usually like this,” or “He just has a quirky sense of humor,” or “You’ll see he’s great once you get to know him.” Eventually, it becomes clear that maybe it’s time for them to own up to their actions. Lately, this is how I feel about my son.
I won’t sugarcoat it: sometimes he’s just plain difficult to be around. He has his joyful moments, but the past few months have been particularly challenging. Initially, when we’d go out with friends and he started behaving like a little monster, I would feel embarrassed and quickly make excuses for his behavior. “He didn’t nap well today.” “He’s teething.” “He’s just hungry.” “The lights are too bright for him.” “We fed him too late. Mistake.”
But now, I’m ready to own up and simply blame him. Sure, it’s tough to hold a toddler accountable for being a toddler, but there’s a point where you need to stop making excuses. After navigating the rollercoaster of the terrible twos for several months, I’ve decided I’m no longer going to take the fall for his antics. So, sorry kiddo, sometimes it really is you, not me.
Just yesterday, I was at a bar with some friends when my wife showed up later, bringing along our little detective, Max. He usually warms up quickly, but this time he was clinging to his mom and screaming at anyone who dared to look his way. As someone who’s been through this enough times, I’ve stopped sugarcoating things. Instead of offering a weak explanation for my son’s outbursts, I simply said, “Don’t mind him; screaming is his go-to these days. He’s just being a little jerk.”
This fresh perspective feels liberating. Of course, while I’m not making excuses for his bad behavior, I’m also not letting it slide unchecked. We still discipline him and take responsibility for his growth, but the terrible twos are a phase every parent endures, regardless of their parenting style. We just have to ride the wave, and that means he’s not getting a free pass anymore.
If he continues down this path, he’ll be persona non grata at every family gathering and playdate in town.
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In summary, as my little one navigates the tricky waters of toddlerhood, I’m shifting my approach. While I still love him dearly, I’m ready for him to start owning his actions—because sometimes, it’s really not my fault.