As I navigate the delightful chaos of parenting my nearly 2-year-old, I can’t help but reflect on the unique challenges that come with having a toddler. They can be the cutest little beings, but let’s be real—sometimes they’re the worst roommates! While many parents find themselves apologizing to their little ones, I often daydream about the sincere apologies I wish I could hear from my child. If my toddler ever had a change of heart and decided to own up to her antics, here’s what I’d love for her to say:
- I’m really sorry for taking a few bites out of three different bananas and then stashing them under the rocking chair. That was super rude and a bit odd, not to mention it didn’t do our grocery budget any favors. I still hope you’ll consider helping with my college fund!
- Remember that time I thought it was hilarious to pour water all over Mom’s new laptop? That was a total jerk move. I didn’t understand that water and electronics don’t mix. I hope you can forgive me for that costly mistake.
- I apologize for how my shenanigans have impacted your romantic life.
- Last month, when I decided to poop in the tub while you were bathing me, that was just too much. I realize it was frustrating for you to manage that clean-up while also trying to keep my curious hands away from the plunger. I promise I’ll start using the toilet—tomorrow!
- I’m sorry for wearing your underwear on my head while the neighbors were over for quiche. I realize that might have made for some awkward conversations, especially with those holes in your boxers!
- I know I get a bit too excited every time I see a Popsicle and start screaming. That must be so annoying! I’ll work on saying “please” instead.
- I apologize for wiping my boogers on your jeans. I know it leaves a weird stain, and I’ll start using tissues from now on.
- I promise to never again remove my pants in public—no more surprise shows!
- I’ll try to refrain from jumping on you when you sit on the couch. I just get so excited, and I realize that might be why I don’t have a little sibling yet!
- That time I tossed your wallet into the trash? I thought it was a funny prank at the time, but I see now that it wasn’t. I owe you a drink for that one!
- I’m truly sorry for keeping you up all night because I couldn’t settle down. I didn’t think about how you had to work the next day while I snoozed all day. I’ll try to be more considerate!
- I’m genuinely sorry for the time I accidentally threw up in your mouth.
- I realize breaking your glasses with a toy saw was a terrible idea, especially since it meant you had to go without them for over a week. That was a real jerk move on my part.
- I can’t promise to never have accidents, but I will commit to being more cooperative during diaper changes. No more crying or wiggling!
- Lastly, I promise to stop jabbing my finger in your eye when you try to give me a hug. I love you, Dad!
Are these apologies too much to wish for? Probably. But a parent can always dream! If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out this post on home insemination kit.
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In summary, toddlers may not readily admit their faults, but as parents, we can certainly hope for those heartfelt apologies. It’s all part of the wild ride of parenting!