It all started at a birthday celebration for my friend’s daughter. With my baby nestled comfortably on my right hip—his favorite spot—my toddler approached, clinging to my pant leg. “Mommy, I need you! Pick me up!” his sweet voice begged. Without hesitation, I lifted my toddler onto my left hip.
After a while, my arms grew weary, and I attempted to set my baby down. He immediately erupted into a dramatic display of displeasure, channeling his inner “Whine Like a Banshee.” I quickly shifted my focus, placing my toddler down instead. “Mommy, I need you,” he whimpered, his tone convincing enough to pull at my heartstrings.
I scoured the room for a cozy chair that could accommodate all three of us and settled in for some bonding time until they both had their fill. The toddler was the first to hop down, drawn to an impressive Lego tower, while the baby remained with me, until his gaze landed on the snack table.
He pointed eagerly at the treats, urging me to follow. I picked him up again, placing him back on my hip as we made our way to gather a bowl of cheese. While the baby happily munched away, a woman, likely a relative of my friend, leaned in and said, “You really should put that baby down, you know? He’ll never learn to walk if you carry him all the time. You’re going to spoil him.”
I chuckled nervously, a common reaction when caught off guard. “No thanks,” I managed to reply, feeling my tongue tied in that moment. “You’re going to spoil both of them,” she added, gesturing at my toddler.
Despite her comments, I held onto my baby for the remainder of the party, laughing and socializing on the outside while feeling a simmering frustration inside. Why didn’t I stand up for myself? Why didn’t I tell her that unsolicited advice wasn’t welcome?
Now, sitting comfortably at my computer, I feel emboldened to respond.
Hey there, stranger! If holding my little ones equates to spoiling them, then so be it. I would gladly embrace the title of having the “rottenest kids” in the neighborhood. I refuse to deny them the warmth and security that comes from being held close.
You know, adults often pay for hugs nowadays. Yeah, it’s a real thing. They’re so lacking in physical affection that they join groups to just hug it out. Maybe you should consider joining one of those; it might help you reconnect with your softer side.
I always thought that spoiling meant giving in to every material desire, like showering them with endless toys. Sure, my kids have their share of flashy gadgets, but the truth is they crave connection and closeness. They need to be held, and I’m more than willing to oblige. That’s what being a parent is all about.
Let me brag a bit: I can do everything from applying face cream to vacuuming while holding my baby. I can even manage a trip to the bathroom without putting him down! My toddler flits back and forth for hugs and chatter, while I navigate daily tasks with my baby in tow.
So yes, I will continue to carry them, whether in my arms or in various baby carriers. I will respond to their requests for cuddles until they no longer ask. Because when that day comes, I’ll know I’ve fulfilled my role as a mom. I hope that won’t happen until they’re older and have little ones of their own who need just as much love.
Oops! Just a moment—I feel little hands tugging at my leg. It looks like I’m needed once again.
So, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to go spoil my kids a little more.
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In summary, parenting is about nurturing and supporting our children’s emotional needs, even if it means carrying them more often than society suggests. Embracing that closeness and affection is what many moms choose to do, and it’s completely okay to prioritize those moments of connection.