I’ve encountered a myriad of opinions on extended breastfeeding.
“Stop nursing him when he can ask for it.”
“After a certain age, it’s more for the mom than the child.”
“He’ll never learn to be independent.”
“You need to stop once he has teeth.”
“Inappropriate.”
“He’s too grown; only infants breastfeed.”
“It’s just plain weird.”
And trust me, some remarks have been even harsher. But this isn’t a rebuttal to those views. I don’t have the desire or energy to engage in that debate. Instead, I want to share my experience with my son, now 2 ¼ years old, and what nursing means for both of us.
Just the other day, he nursed less than usual, and when he finally latched on, I was surprised to find that my other breast leaked through my shirt. That hadn’t happened in quite some time, reminding me how nursing evolves as time passes. I’m no longer the milk-filled, leaky new mom; my body feels more like my own now. My breasts are softer, and I can easily sleep on my stomach. Nursing bras are a thing of the past.
Sometimes, he simply wants to cuddle when he stirs during the night, and other times he prefers a snack in the afternoon, skipping our usual nursing session. While full weaning might still be a ways off, gradual changes are already happening.
I cherish these moments we share during nursing and feel a little heartbroken as they begin to fade. Here are the reasons I choose to continue breastfeeding:
- I nurse him because those big, hazel eyes hold mine for a blissful ten minutes on a rainy afternoon.
- I nurse him because at 2, he curls his soft, warm body into my lap, kicking his legs playfully.
- I nurse him because I breastfed his older brother, and as he becomes more independent, I miss those little moments of closeness.
- I nurse him because I remember watching my mother nurse my sister, the gentle intimacy of those moments, and the peace they brought.
- I nurse him because it gives me a chance to pause and enjoy a quiet moment together.
- I nurse him because when he says, “Milkies, please,” his sweet politeness melts my heart.
- I nurse him because the oxytocin rush brings joy to both of us while he feeds.
- I nurse him because it allows us to bask in the comfort of our bed on weekend mornings and after his naps.
- I nurse him because it’s a simple solution: it helps him sleep, soothes tantrums, and calms him down.
- I nurse him because it’s what we both want.
- I nurse him knowing that this phase won’t last forever; his need for nursing will eventually fade.
Not every moment spent nursing is blissful; that would be unrealistic. There are nights when he tugs at my lips and eyelids, keeping me awake while the rest of the world sleeps. In those moments, I wish he would let go. But then he drifts off, sighing softly, and I breathe in the comforting scent of his hair, just the two of us together in the cool night air.
I don’t believe every parent should nurse their toddler, preschooler, or child, but I do recognize that it’s perfectly normal for many families. The act of suckling is a biological need that starts with breastfeeding. While nursing beyond a certain age may not align with everyone’s perception of parenting, that’s perfectly alright.
What feels right for us is what matters, and many other mothers and children share our experience. So, we continue to nurse.
This is our normal and our love.