Let’s face it: the sound of a breast pump can feel like a relentless “fuuuck you” soundtrack during your pumping sessions. You’re stuck there, and it just keeps on going. But your breast pump has a lot more to say than just that. Here are 11 messages your pump might be sharing with you during those solitary moments:
- Did you have plans? Too bad, those are on hold now!
- I’m here to drain your breasts and maybe even your spirit.
- Nice bra! Your partner has actually seen you in that? Bold move!
- Guess what? You’ll need to sterilize me later. Enjoy boiling water, my friend!
- Oh, you’re flying soon? Good luck navigating that TSA chaos!
- You know those tiny rubber pieces that help with single-side pumping? Oops, misplaced! Hope you have a backup plan!
- Want to take me to work? Sure, I’ll be as discreet as a chainsaw at a wedding. Whir. Whir. Whir. Sorry, can’t hear you, coworker!
- Look at me, all sleek in black. No one will suspect I’m not just another stylish purse!
- Did you forget your breast shields today? Hope you can hold out until 5 o’clock!
- Oops! I noticed you tried to move away from the wall outlet. Sorry, but you need to stay close—like a real wallflower!
- Why are you cranking me up? Was I too slow? Don’t pretend you have somewhere to be, Miss Busy Bee. You’ve got a four-month-old!
Fuuuckyou. Fuuuckyou. Fuuuckyou.
In this wild journey of motherhood, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But remember, you’re not alone in this! If you’re looking for resources on home insemination, check out this excellent guide, or explore tips on how to make your experience smoother with products from Make a Mom.
In conclusion, while your breast pump may seem like a nagging companion, it’s just part of the adventure of motherhood. Embrace the chaos, and don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way!