“Can you come upstairs to watch a movie with Mommy this morning?” I ask, trying to keep my voice cheerful.
“Yes! Can we watch The Grinch? No school today, right, Mama?” my curious 4-year-old, Mia, replies, tilting her head in confusion.
“Not exactly. Mommy is feeling too much pain to drive you to school right now. Would you mind coming upstairs to rest with me?”
Mia reaches out her tiny, chubby hand and takes mine. “Yes, Mama. I’ll hold your hand,” she assures me.
As I shuffle up the stairs, holding her hand, I struggle to keep the tears from spilling. I can pretend that endometriosis doesn’t affect my life, but the truth is, it’s an invisible affliction. While I don’t show its signs on the outside—aside from a few scars on my belly from previous surgeries—the pain is very real.
For many women, endometriosis pain is a relentless burden, often peaking during ovulation, PMS, or menstruation. Yet it can strike at any moment, leaving us incapacitated for days. It’s not simply “bad cramps” but rather an overwhelming agony that can’t be eased by over-the-counter medications. It’s crucial to understand that no one is exaggerating or being weak when they share their experience with this condition.
Previously, endometriosis has kept me from working, running errands, cooking, and even exercising. But the moment I couldn’t get Mia to school, it felt like a new low. Witnessing how my illness affects my child is heart-wrenching, and I can’t shake the feeling of guilt.
Climbing the stairs, I want to scream from the pain, which feels akin to a prolonged contraction. Each step makes me feel more dizzy and emotional. I remind myself to focus: just get to the top. I instruct Mia, “If something happens to Mommy, like if I fall or can’t wake up, you need to run outside and find a neighbor to help, okay?” I know the house alarm will alert emergency responders if she opens the door.
The thought of Mia witnessing me collapse is almost unbearable. I can’t imagine the fear she would feel.
Finally, we make it to bed, and Mia starts the movie, snuggling close. I’m grateful to be lying down, minimizing the risk of any mishaps. She looks up at me, her eyes filled with concern. “Is it because you’re bleeding again?” she asks. My husband and I have tried to explain my period, but clearly, she’s missed some details.
“Yes,” I reply softly.
“Will I bleed like you when I’m older?” she wonders.
“Kind of, but not like this. You won’t have to feel the pain like Mommy does,” I reassure her, even though I know that’s not entirely true.
Endometriosis occurs when tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside it, often on the ovaries and bowels. This abnormal growth leads to chronic pelvic pain, severe periods, and sometimes infertility. Research suggests a genetic link to the disease, making it hereditary.
As much as I want to protect my daughters from my suffering, they can see the toll it takes on me. I can only advocate for awareness and push for research so that my girls, along with countless others affected, won’t have to endure this debilitating illness.
Women like Lena Dunham and Padma Lakshmi have bravely shared their struggles with endometriosis, showing that strength can emerge from pain. Unfortunately, many medical professionals still misunderstand the severity of this condition, often dismissing it as exaggerated or fabricated.
Imagine a young girl in agony, hearing comments like, “You can handle it,” or “It’s not that bad.” This has been the harsh reality for many women. We need to shift the conversation, showing solidarity and support for those suffering. By sharing our experiences, we can unite and advocate for more research and viable treatment options. There currently is no cure for endometriosis.
March is Endometriosis Awareness Month, a time to support the women and mothers in our lives dealing with this condition. We can work together to help future generations of girls who may be at risk. Let’s commit to this cause, not just this month but every day.
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In summary, living with endometriosis while parenting is a significant challenge, but through awareness, advocacy, and support, we can strive for a better future for our daughters and all women affected by this condition.