Dear Michael,
I want to start by saying how much I appreciate you. You are an amazing father and the ideal partner for me. Your commitment to sharing parenting duties and handling the laundry over the years has not gone unnoticed. You treat me with love and kindness, and I admire how you strive to set a strong example for our boys.
However, there’s something that’s been bothering me, and I feel it’s time to address it.
Addressing the Use of ‘Girl’ as an Insult
Could you please stop using “girl” as a way to insult our sons? I understand that your coaching background might influence this mindset. You hold a standard of toughness and resilience, which you want our boys to embrace. But when they express their emotions, you often tell them to “stop being a girl.”
When they cry over small frustrations or sulk when they don’t get their way, your words imply that showing feelings is a weakness. But in reality, girls are just as strong and resilient as boys.
I know you recognize this in your heart. Yet, every time you use the term “girl” as a pejorative, it sends a harmful message that girls are weak or overly emotional. This misconception couldn’t be further from the truth.
The Strength of Emotions
As their mother, I can assure you that I am a woman who has given birth to our four wonderful boys. I have faced challenges with strength and resilience, and my emotions are not a sign of weakness. I want our children to understand that it’s perfectly normal to feel hurt or upset, and when they do, I want them to feel safe coming to us without the fear of being belittled.
Life will present them with heartaches and disappointments, and I want them to learn that it’s okay to express their feelings. I want them to see that vulnerability can be a source of strength, and that having emotions is a part of being human.
Let’s teach them that showing care and compassion is not something to be ashamed of. After all, sometimes what you perceive as “being a girl” simply means they have a big heart.
With love, your strong, caring, and occasionally “girly” wife.
P.S. For more insights on parenting and family matters, check out our blog on home insemination. It’s filled with helpful articles, and if you’re considering starting a family, you might want to explore this authoritative resource on home insemination kits. Also, for comprehensive information about fertility, Hopkins Medicine offers excellent resources.
Summary
The letter emphasizes the importance of reframing the use of “girl” as an insult within the context of parenting. It highlights the strength of women and emotions, aiming to encourage a supportive environment for children to express their feelings.