Hello there! I’m Mom, and I want to share a part of my journey with you. At first glance, I may not seem like the stereotypical alcoholic. I’m a 36-year-old, educated, middle-class individual who attends church regularly. But beneath that surface, I’ve come to recognize that I carry the alcoholism gene, passed down through generations.
My father struggled with alcohol, quitting when I was just a baby. I’ve never held shame against him for his addiction; rather, I see it as a genetic condition that made it difficult for him to control his drinking. Unfortunately, I’ve inherited that same challenge.
My history with alcohol has been far from simple. It often felt like a toxic relationship that I couldn’t escape. For years, I was trapped in a cycle of binge drinking, trying to moderate my intake only to fall back into old habits. I’d promise myself I’d only drink on weekends or stick to beer, thinking these rules would help me control my consumption. But the truth was that the problem resided in my brain, not my drinking habits.
When I consume alcohol, it triggers a response in my brain that makes me want more. While others might enjoy a drink and stop, I found myself thinking, “This feels amazing! Let’s keep the party going!” And while I sometimes succeeded in drinking moderately, I often didn’t know which version of myself would show up at the bar—would it be the responsible “One-Drink Mom” or the wild “Drink-the-Whole-Bottle Mom”?
Although I never faced legal issues or let alcohol disrupt my work or relationships, I learned that alcoholism is a progressive condition. As the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous points out, the craving for alcohol can escalate, leading to substance dependence. If you find yourself in a similar situation, just remember to add “yet” when justifying your drinking experiences.
For instance, you might think, “I’m not an alcoholic because I’ve never had a DUI—yet.” Or, “I’ve never embarrassed myself at a family event—yet.” I never hit rock bottom, but I could see it approaching, and thankfully, I chose to end my relationship with alcohol before reaching that point.
I won’t sugarcoat the journey of sobriety. In a world saturated with alcohol—from sports events to birthday parties—declining a drink often leads to awkward assumptions. People might think you’re pregnant or overly pious, which can make socializing uncomfortable and, let’s be honest, can tempt you to drink.
Without my liquid courage, I’ve turned to other coping mechanisms like prayer, meditation, and carb-loading. Stress eating has become my new comfort, proving to be a different kind of indulgence.
If you’ve battled with alcohol yourself, I want to remind you of a few important truths: You’re not a failure. You’re not alone. If today feels like the day to acknowledge your own challenges with alcohol, summon your courage. And if you need company at that next social event, I’m here for you. Let’s enjoy some snacks together and reassure everyone that we’re not expecting.
For more insights on navigating the world of home insemination, check out this helpful post here. And if you’re looking for authoritative information on home insemination, visit Make A Mom. For a deeper understanding of pregnancy options, the Cleveland Clinic is an excellent resource.
Summary
My journey with alcohol has been complicated, filled with ups and downs. While I never hit rock bottom, I recognized my struggle with alcohol as a genetic issue, not a moral failing. I learned that sobriety is challenging but possible. If you find yourself in a similar situation, remember that you’re not alone and there’s support available.