Three years have passed since my daughter, Lily, was stillborn. In my heart, joy and sorrow coexist. I still feel the weight of her absence, and occasionally, tears catch me off guard. Just the other day, I saw a little girl in a flower-patterned dress, holding her younger sister’s hand, and it hit me—moments like that remind me of what could have been. My love for Lily remains alive; it’s her physical presence that is gone.
Grief is not a sign of weakness, but rather an expression of love. It signifies a disconnection, a natural reaction to missing someone we cherished. Early in my journey, I often heard people call me brave for facing each day without her. But was it really bravery? It felt more like survival, a necessary act after the loss of a child.
When I share my story, I sometimes hear that I’m courageous for speaking openly about my experience. But why is that considered courageous? Isn’t it normal for a mother to talk about her child, to share her love and pride, regardless of the circumstances? It shouldn’t be viewed as an act of courage to express my grief; it’s simply part of parenting—albeit a different kind of parenting than many experience.
I wish that those who haven’t faced this kind of loss, including friends, family, and healthcare professionals, could understand that love doesn’t evaporate when a child dies. It remains—whether they were with us for weeks, months, or just days. The bond we have with our children persists, and so does our grieving. This is just a part of being a parent who has experienced loss.
For further support and understanding, you might find it helpful to explore resources like the March of Dimes, which provides insightful information on pregnancy week by week. Additionally, if you’re interested in fertility supplements, checking out Make A Mom can offer valuable guidance on enhancing your journey.
In essence, we continue to embrace our lost children in our hearts and memories, and that love is a testament to our role as parents, even if our parenting looks different from others.
Summary
Grieving the loss of a child is a profound expression of love, not an act of bravery. Parents who have experienced loss continue to love and remember their children, and this grief is a natural part of their journey. Understanding and acceptance from those around them can foster a supportive environment for healing.