Last night, you left your dirty socks and underwear on the kitchen counter. This morning, as I reached for cereal in the cupboard, Rice Krispies cascaded to the floor because someone didn’t seal the box properly after using it. And just as we were about to leave for school, our youngest opened his water bottle and was soaked with seltzer—hmm, I wonder who filled it last night after I specifically asked not to?
And honestly, why does it seem to take you half an hour to use the bathroom? (Believe me, I’ve kept track.) Sometimes I worry that you might have a serious health issue. Then I remember you’re in there with your phone, while the kids are hollering, and maybe you just need a moment of peace. Why can’t I carve out 30 minutes for myself? I can’t even recall the last time I had a private bathroom break, let alone one that lasted that long.
Dear husband, my list of grievances could go on indefinitely—and often does, in my mind. Sometimes my frustrations slip out: “How many times do I have to remind you to take out the trash?” or “Please, just clean up the crumbs off the counter!”
But then I glance at you, lounging on the couch with our son cuddled up in your lap. Your eyelids are drooping as you read him Green Eggs and Ham for the umpteenth time. You’re exhausted. You woke up at 5 a.m., sneaking out before the kids and I were awake, caught the 5:50 train, and sleepwalked through your day. You spend your hours in a room filled with teenagers who roll their eyes at you as much as our 9-year-old does. Yet, amidst their indifference, you manage to connect with a few kids—helping them discover a line of Shakespeare or sharing a laugh with your quirky jokes.
When you return home, I throw a couple of energized kids at you and ask you to take out the trash. And look at you now, reading to our son, making goofy animal sounds, even as fatigue threatens to overwhelm you. Sometimes, it’s surprisingly hard to stay annoyed with you.
The reality is, you do try. Yes, you leave your things scattered everywhere and forget many of my requests, but you’re making an effort. Just yesterday, I went for a run, and when I returned, the house was surprisingly clean—I hadn’t even asked you to tidy up!
And yes, there are moments when your patience runs thin, and you lose your cool with the kids when their whining reaches a level that would test anyone’s sanity. Yet I notice you trying to breathe through the frustration before reacting. I see you pause instead of diving into another argument.
Sometimes I wish you’d push yourself a little more. I understand your job is tough, but mine isn’t a walk in the park either. You leave for work at 5, while I’m up at 6:30, coaxing two spirited boys to wake up, get dressed, and be out the door by 8 a.m. sharp. Then I’m responsible for them for the next twelve hours, managing the household, my freelance work, the bills, and everything else that comes with this beautiful chaos.
But this isn’t a competition. Life is challenging. Marriage is challenging. Parenting is challenging. Balancing everything and emerging intact is no small task.
In truth, there’s no one else I’d rather navigate this demanding yet beautiful journey with than you. You’re the man I chose to marry, the one I fell in love with long before children and responsibilities took center stage.
At the end of our long days, when we finally have a moment to ourselves before collapsing into bed, we sit on the couch with crunchy snacks while scrolling through our phones. Often, we’re both too tired to have a real conversation. Yet sometimes, I catch your eye, and out of nowhere, I’m flooded with that old spark of love. You glance back at me, with a familiar twinkle in your blue eyes—one that reassures me that despite everything, we’re okay. Our marriage is okay. We are happy, imperfect, and love will guide us through.
If you’re interested in exploring more about parenting or home insemination, check out some of our other posts, such as this one. For a comprehensive resource on the topic, visit Make A Mom. You can also find valuable insights at Rmany.
Summary:
Our marriage is not without its challenges, but the love we share ultimately prevails. Despite the frustrations and imperfections of daily life, we find joy in our partnership and parenting journey. Through the ups and downs, love remains our guiding force.