Parenting Insights
The Argument for Unrestricted Screen Time
by Anonymous
Updated: Jan. 3, 2021
Originally Published: March 18, 2016
My upbringing was rather unconventional when it came to screen time. My parents never enforced limits on how many hours I spent immersed in television. In truth, I think they were just happy to have some quiet time. Yet, despite the lack of pressure regarding schoolwork, I thrived academically, ultimately graduating from an Ivy League institution. I also developed a passion for reading without being mandated to spend a specific amount of time with books.
With this unique background, I’ve grown into a relatively joyful and connected adult. Interestingly, I rarely watch TV now. My parents had an unspoken confidence in my abilities, and it paid off. I’ve adopted a similar hands-off approach with my son and the iPad (we don’t have a TV), and I must say, I’m pleased with this relaxed philosophy.
Every family is distinct, and what works for one may not suit another. However, I believe there’s merit in allowing unlimited screen time, and that we adults can gain valuable insights if we’re willing to ease our grip a bit.
1. Cultivating Trust
My four-year-old son is exploring his likes and dislikes, developing a strong sense of preference. This is exciting because, in adulthood, knowing what you want is crucial for taking responsibility for your life.
Unfortunately, many children today are constantly monitored and directed, which leads them to depend on that validation into adulthood. By allowing my son the freedom to choose—within safe boundaries—I’m fostering trust in him and in myself. He’s learning to listen to his instincts, and that’s a vital skill. If he decides to watch “Curious George” or even “Power Rangers,” that’s perfectly acceptable. His preferences are integral to his identity and will hopefully guide him toward a fulfilling life.
2. Breaking the Cycle of Struggle
Initially, I was quite anxious about his iPad usage, feeling like it was controlling us rather than the other way around. I worried about the potential harm of every minute spent on it. My frustration led to tension, both for me and my son, who felt guilty for wanting to engage with his favorite shows.
Over time, I wondered what would happen if I relaxed my expectations. The change was liberating. My son no longer feels guilty for using the iPad. Now, when left to his own devices, he chooses how to spend his time, which often means watching something but just as frequently involves creative play, dressing up, or building with Legos. He might even decide to take a bath and sing songs for an hour!
He’s learning to follow his own instincts, which is fantastic.
3. Embracing Joy
I no longer view myself as a negligent parent. Instead, I focus on cultivating happiness and reveling in the joys of motherhood. Rather than stressing over screen time limits, I trust in both my instincts and my son’s.
When I allow him to make his own choices without dramatics, it turns out he doesn’t want to be glued to a screen all day. His intuition guides him, and it’s delightful to watch him finding his own path. I aim to guide him more through my actions than through strict rules, providing thoughtful answers to his endless questions and showcasing what adult happiness looks like.
Ultimately, my goal is for him to feel whole, know he’s loved, and have enough self-love to understand who he is and what he desires from life. I don’t believe that limiting screen time is necessary to achieve that.
For more related insights, check out our other posts, like this one on home insemination and the best practices for using an at home insemination kit. If you’re interested in understanding more about infertility, the CDC provides excellent resources.
In summary, embracing unlimited screen time can foster trust, reduce parental stress, and lead to a happier environment for both children and parents.